Feel so low

[lentilbake]

I posted a while back about escaping from violent husband. I just moved house and am in a lovely place children settled, nice area. cost me lots of money and it was money left to me by someone very special so it was important that I made good use od the money and not waste it.

He found me and has been round to my new house so there are already bad memories here and it nows feels like a horrible house. He just came in as i was opening door to come in myself, he barged past me and got in and threw me across hallway, broke my glasses and thumped me in the ear head, shoulder and arm and twisted my arm so i thought it would break. I managed to get to phone to ring police but he grabbed it from me.

I have tried womens aid but no luck so far. I want to go to a refuge today. I/m so upset though, taht the children will have another change, well 2 as it will be new school as well as house and that the money left to me by someone so dear will be wasted, and that we will ahve to give up this lovely house.

I'm traumatised and can't see how I will ever get through this. I am so angry with him for spoling things for me. I've been in hospital and the pain only eased this morning enough for me to get back to normal so i was going to get some more boxes unpacked, get curtians up, cook a nice meal and play with the children, and now I feel so negative again. Going to ring womens aid again in a bit

Oh, thats so bloody awful for you. Have you rung the police since though? You must. Could they install a panic button for you?

Are there any friends or relatives who could come and stay with you? Or is there enough room to get a lodger?

Hi Lentil, didn't want your post to go unanswered. So sorry this has happened to you. I have absolutely no experience in these matters so won't even try to offer advice, only sympathy and support. Keep talking to MN, we are here for you in whatever way you need. Only one question, have you pressed charges?

No room for a lodger as i have downsized. I suppose there is the option of an injunction and staying where I am but i dont feel i could ever be happy here now with memories of this attack and i will be so embarrassed to see the neighbours knowing they must have heard it and heard me making ridiculous whimpering noises so i'll be afraid to goout

Please please dont think that about your neighbours. Go and see them, explain the situation, so that if he turns up again, they can ring the police. Your neighbours are hopefully going to become your friends, and that will make it worthwhile living there.

You can be happy there, but you must do what you can to protect yourself. Ring the police, get a panic button installed, press whatever charges you can.

Have you called the police to get this logged?
Get an injunction against him.

Who cares what the neighbours think.

Take care, post soon so we know you're ok x

So sorry to hear this lentil - I can imagine how horrible it must be knowing that he knows where you are. I don't know much about this stuff, but is there one of those orders on your ex preventing him from coming within whatever radius you specify?

How awful for you!!! Any idea how he found you? You really have to call the police, have they been involved in the past? Do you childrens school know not to allow him to pick them up and the situation with him? Keep trying womens aid too.

Lentil, It makes me so sad to read that. I don't ever tell anybody this as I am a bit embarrassed about it and I don't want people to think that this is the type of thing that I would ever normally do.
But my ex beat me up, (badly) I still get recurring headaches. I fell to the floor and tried to cover my face/hands,i didn't scream as i didn't want to wake my DS up. After my "good kicking' he stopped. I went and hid in the bathroom and threw up.

I waited until he was asleep then I got a saucepan and smacked the hell out of him with it.

He ran out the house with a armful of clothes, it was almost funny. I was really shook up and was black and blue so I hid in the house/didn't answer the door/called in sick etc.

I look back now and think how lucky I was not to kill him! I am such a shy timid person but something snapped. I really hope you will be ok. I'm sorry I can't give any wise/helpful advice. Your ex seems a lot more sinister than my ex who was just a bully.
Plus I would never recommend violence. I'm a still a bit at my behavior.

Contact the police if you haven't yet.
Contact women's aid.
Don't worry about the neighbours, but you have to get this reported and your case escalated.

Dont be embarassed Sucks, you fought back... bloody good on you. I wish I had had the bravery do to that to my ex.

Lentils, buy a rape alarm, or two. Keep one in your handbag, and one where you can grab it quickly, near the door maybe. Also keep a bottle of perfume near the door. Spray that in his face and set the alarm off if he comes near you.

I want to highlight squeakytoy's post at 12:11
Please don't be embarassed. Your neighbours might actually be worried about you!

How are you doing?

If you had just moved in near me and I heard anything I would want to know you were ok and be wondering whether to come round.

Please go and see your neighbours, you may need them one day and its good for them to know he isn't supposed to be around...

Take care.

F%&*@^%!!!!

That is bloody appalling!

Perfume??? I'd keep a big bag of white pepper by the door if it was me and give the fucker the whole bag in the face. Then go into the kitchen, get the other three bags and give him those too.

I am not kidding here! This is a seriously violent assault with home invasion, the arse should be in a cell.

There's no way you should be thinking about moving from your lovely new home.

If you haven't done so already, call the police NOW and report his assault and contact Women's Aid.

The national helpline number 0808 2000 247 can be oversubscribed; google women's aid or domestic violence to find organisations in your area that can give you the support you need, such as a injunction, to keep this man out of your life.

Hope you are feeling a bit better Lentil.

:)

How did you get on with talking to WA?