I wish me and DP could go on dates etc

[BertieBotts]

We've been together just over a year, and live together, and still we have only actually been out together (as just the two of us) twice. (Even with others it's been about four times) And one was a comedy gig and the other to the cinema, so it's not like we've really done anything together, just kind of sat next to each other, like we could have just done at home. :(

Was just reading a fireworks thread and recalled a year with an ex boyfriend when we were both skint, so we just wandered around Stratford town centre until we happened on a free display. I'd love to do something like that with DP, but it feels like it would be a waste of having a babysitter to have no plans. My mum said a while ago that she would be happy to babysit once every 2 months and my sister said the same, so theoretically we have one once a month but this hasn't happened - mainly because things come up which I want to do several at a time and I don't feel I can ask and then the friends etc involved got fed up of asking, or then we go months without having any money. (Admittedly just me going out wouldn't be a problem now DP is here) Sometimes I just feel so trapped by having DS and then I feel bad for thinking this.

We are supposed to be going on holiday next year with DP's sister and her family so the plan is we'll take it in turns to sit for all the children, or go out, am looking forward to this.

Now DS is sleeping more reliably I'm thinking we might be able to get away with a non-family babysitter? What are others' experiences with this? And where do you look!

Have you thought about using an agency? I was single for ages so never needed a sitter, now I'm with my new DP, we like to go out once a week, just the 2 of us, it's defo worth using the agency for a few hours together.......even if you just go to the pictures or a nice walk?

Is the offer of help from your mum and sister still on the table? You say you haven't taken either of them up on their kind offer because too many opportunities come up at once - so because there are too many you don't do any at all? I'm struggling to understand why you are wanting to use a non-family member to babysit when it seems your Mum and sister are offering you their services. What have I missed? I get that you would feel uncomfortable asking them to babysit all the time (i.e. more than they have said they are willing), but to not use them at all when they have offered seems silly.

Forget involving friends, you say you want a date, so just keep it to you and your DP. Pick an evening or afternoon, choose to do something low-key/low cost - walk in the park, followed by coffee or something. Get your Mum or sister to babysit and there you have it.

Yes that sounds like a good idea. Sorry I probably wasn't clear about mum/sister. It tends to go that I will ask them to look after DS some time and they will do that and then I will feel I can't ask them again for another month/two months, by which time we've just forgotten about the thought of going out, or we have no money, so nothing happens for ages.

Also if they babysit, we can only ever go out until 11ish, which is okay, I just hate feeling like we're on a timer needing to make every second of our date count because we won't get another for a while.

Actually perhaps this is the problem Maybe I should just ask them to confirm a regular date, stick it on the calendar in advance and then I can just relax rather than trying to make things perfect. I used to do this quite a lot when I was first seeing DP - every time he came round I'd try to "make it count" and I was getting so stressed over it that he offered to stop coming!