my tumble dryer repair man has asked me out but i have to say no

[HeresTheThingBooyhoo]

how do i do it without offending him? i hate giving people bad news.

What ever you do, don't spin it out.

Jalopy

Why must you say no? Did he not do a good repair job?

this might make it easier for you..

when I was younger and single my fridge freezer repair man asked me out, I was hugely embarrassed and blurted out 'erm no sorry I can't I have a boyfriend'.

The fridge freezer then broke down again about a month later and and a different older guy came out. He saw that it had been fixed recently and looked at the paperwork and said 'oh I see my nephew fixed your fridge freezer last time, I bet he asked you out didn't he?? he askes all the birds out!'

emma that's funny, he texted to ask me out and in the message said he doesn't do this type of thing and that automatically made me think he does!!

i have to say no. i'm not me right now, i'm not in a good place in my head and my life and i just dont need to be bringing any more stress into the mix. i dont have enough room in my head for it. also, i've had a bit of a rethink about the way i have been with all the men in my life, i've never really thought about whether they are what i want, i;ve always just been falttered by the attention and went along until they dropped me. i dont want to be dropped anymore. so i'm making a decision for myself rather than letting it be made for me. plus he saw my filthy house and me looking like a witch, how could i possibly face him again!!

It comes down to thanks, but no thanks and you don't need to qualify a 'no' but if you need his repair services again it may be advisable to be diplomatic.

Maybe you could plead an overloaded social diary in the run up to Christmas and say you'll get back to him sometime in the New Year (by which time he may have met someone else), or an existing attachment?

He obviously still likes you, manky house and all! Why not say you'll meet him for coffee one day and see if you like him? No-one's saying you have to commit to him, but if nothing else you might get a nice friend out of it and someone who is good at fixing things. Sounds OK to me!

i know what you mean maisie but i really can't. i know i will start getting carried away in my head and start hoping he's the one and he will think it could go somewhere and it would just be a long way of saying no to him, either that or he will go off me like the rest and just stop calling and i'll go back into a whole hating myself and wondering what the hell is wrong with me phase.

i just cant. even if it was some bloody calvin klein model i'd still have to say no. never thought i'd say that but i have to do this.

so how do i say no? he text a couple of hours ago, i dont think i can leave it much longer, or else it just looks like i'm not responding. i might need him to fix my dryer again!

just text back saying something like "very flattered, but I am not looking for anyone else in my life right now"

OK, I understand - seems a shame though, esp. as he already seems pretty keen

I'd just text him back, say you've not long split up with someone and are just getting back on your feet. That way you keep your bridges unburned for that future coffee (which as everyone knows is officially Not A Date)

I reckon thisisyesterday's wording is good.

If he takes umbrage, well, there are other repairmen - and if you did need him any time soon to fix it again, he's not very good at it and you need a better one anyway .

thank you thisis. i think that's the best thing to say.

ruby

no, it feels right to say no. if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. i need to make changes for myself.

sent.

I think you've done the right thing. Please keep us updated.

i will do. no response from him yet. not sure if there will be one. either way, it feels right.

thank you all. this feels very strange.

i mean strange as in i usually ignore my gut instinct and tell myself this one wont be the same but they all are. it feel strange to be following my gut and doing what i now is the right thing.

Bloody well done, lady .

Well done Booyhoo, I'm a great believer in following your gut in things like this. For all you know he may try it on with all the girls (he may not of course) - but I think when you accept a date with someone it should be because you feel a real spark, not just because they asked - does that make sense?

You will know when it feels right :)

yes it totally makes sense and that is exactly what i have been doing all these years, just saying yes because they asked rather than because i fancied them, or liked them or felt a spark. each and everytime i would tell myself it was different but it's time to wise up. i was repeating the same pattern over and over again and it was making me unhappy and no matter how much i told myself, it was just dating, that i knew it wasn't going anywhere, i would always hope it would. not going to waste my time on 'not the right, but will do to pass the time' person anymore. my best friend waited until she was 21 to even kiss a person, then she married him and they are so perfect for each other. i need to wait until i know as confidently as she did that i've met the right one.