Seperation or divorce, am 5 months pregnant. So confused.

[biyboo]

Husband left a week ago, so confused, should I give him time or just plough on with divorce. This all happened out of the blue and 4 months until baby arrives.

What was his reason for leaving?

Despite what he may have said, the most likely reason he left is that he is having a relationship with another woman.

Says def not anyone else. Think he is scared of being a dad and being married at same time. Was acting more withdrawn in last 6 months. Says needs seperation. There is not much I can do. I know you can't make any one do anything and I only want to go forward with him if he really wants otherwise it will all be dead and fake. Just not sure which direction to take right now as all this still 1 week old. Just want to read others views and step out of my perspective on this.

Keep getting A lot of pinching feelings in baby area. Would it be because under freak sized stress?

I'd press ahead and go for divorce, because despite what he says, there will be another woman involved here.

You need to concentrate on you and your baby. Don't make big decisions at the moment. Keep trying to talk to you husband and let him know you still care (it sounds as though you still do). Divorce is stressful, if it does end up that way it doesn't have to be immediate. Take time to work out waht is right for you. [hugs]

I don't want to make excuses and am not a clairvoyant to see what really is going on but if someone wants breathing space then I can give that but I am aware of time and letting things drag and damage feelings. I do know that if he def does not want to return there is no way I could have him at scans or birth or bonding weeks/ months after. I would like him to return on his own decision. My God it's Halloween and I feel like I have been in a dark creepy hell all week and still am. I would love him to be at scans and birth but as husband and wife going forward in life as parents.

Would he consider going to counselling with you? This will help you both to sort out if there is a future together, and if not, they will help you to work out how you are going to separate.

Don't rush into divorce just yet, as everything is so new. You need to talk to him and find out exactly what is going on, so that you can decide how you want things to proceed with your pregnancy, and how much involvement you want him to have.

If I or when I know for definite that he is not coming back then I do not want him near me for scans, birth or after. It would creep me out tremendously and damage any delicate early memories of my baby. He has done enough but if he is ready and genuine to be part of a family and come back. Well then that I would alright.

I would hang fire before making any decisions just yet. It is still too soon.

It might help to link with your previous thread for some background for posters. Im a bit dim so dont know how to do it....