I'm starting to feel really sorry for DH

[sheepmaysafelygraze]

Since having DD 13 months ago I have lost all interest in sex. DH is lovely and does more than his fair share of house work and parenting, is always supportive and has never put me under any kind of pressure at all. I do find him attractive but if he ever tries to initiate anything I just have no interest whatsoever. Its not him, wouldn't be interested in any other men either. I'd much rather sit on the sofa and knit.
I was not like that before having DD.
I am still breastfeeding and have read somewhere that that can decrease libido but can it switch it off completely? And does it come back when you stop?
Poor DH doesn't even complain, I think I'm married to a saint. I just feel bad that that side of our relationship is practically dead.

Seeing as you love him, relationship is good and you find him attractive then you probably need to stop overthinking it and just do it and the desire will come back the more you do it. Get some time away if you can and remember you are not just defined by your role as a mum, you are a woman.

In my experience, stopping bf'ing definitely helped.

It doesn't help that bf'ing makes you carry extra weight, which gives you body image issues as well as low libido!

BTW am pro-bf, not anti!

This is mostly down to your hormones and the changes your body has experienced. It wouldn't hurt to have a word with your GP in case you need a little bit of medical adjustment. The other thing that will probably help is taking some time every week to be you. No, not 'couple-date-night', some time to remember who you are, not in relation to anyone else.

Ripitup... the problem is I can't really bring myself to just do it, it's like I have a mental block or something. And he obviously doesn't want to do it if I'm not actually into it.
Mrsbloodytroll... oh, you mean the weight will go too?(stopping breastfeeding is looking tempting all of a sudden )

Ah, the elusive me time, fat chance of getting any of that sadly. I work weekends and he works in the week. The rest of the time we look after DD. Would be nice though.

I felt like that sheepmay - it was like being a virgin again - weirdly I seemed to have erased my hard drive in relation to sex! I just did it and it didn't even feel like me doing it!!

ripitup, that is exactly it, like my hard drive has been erased! Very good analogy. So how long did you have to 'fake it' until it felt normal again if you don't mind me asking?

I stopped bf'ing DD at 14 months, and by then it was only one feed a day. Lost 5lbs in a week, coupled with a little bit of careful eating. I believe WeightWatchers allow something like 500 extra calories a day if you're bf'ing? Don't quote me on that! But yes, weight is a factor - I am currently bf'ing DS and I'm a whale compared to normal, no way DH is seeing me naked any time soon!