My partner has a job that allows him a lot of freedom and he spends a lot of time at home. I too work and my job allows me to be able to come home early or go in late.
There is a strong possibility that he will be made redundant in March. He won't look for jobs becuase theres always something better to do because he is addicted to a computer game. We have talked and argued over many months and finally i am at a loss. I am the sort of person who will agrue and clear the air, I am now just so very tired of it all.
He gets up at 5.30am plays his computer game. This is ok he tells himself, becuase he then gets the Children ready for school. He Irons uniforms and packs the lunches. Its a fair trade off he tells himself. that silly old moaning bitch CAN'T say anything he tells himself.
I am now getting to sleep later and get up, get dressed and go to work. He then plays his game all day until 3pm. he then wipes over the obvious surfaces in the kitchen and when the children come home he gets them to do a quick tidy before i get home so i can't moan. He then cooks dinner.
He then plays on computer until he can see i am struggling to find anything on the tv. We swap over. This happens a couple of times during the evening with the majority of the time overall being him on the computer. When he is not on this computer he uses another sometimes to "strategise" for his game.
In arguments he point blank said that he has found a community ( i understand, i have mumsnet) that he likes to interact with and no way is he giving it up. After arguing for hours he will concede that he is spending too much time on the computer. He will promise to concentrate on his current employment more, he will promise to look for a job daily. it never happens. This argument is standard and happens often.
The fact that he does nothing all day but his computer really annoys me. He then stays up until 2am. He is not getting enough sleep
Sometimes he is sleeping during the day, this makes him irritable, he refuses to accept this.
He is now telling me that he has never needed 8 hours like me. Who am i to argue i have only known him all my life.
I have told him if he hasn't got a job by March and if he gets made redundant, i am leaving him.
still he makes no effort. There has been an application form near his computer that i have nagged and nagged for him to fill in. I found the job, i printed it off at work for him, he still won't take the time to fill it in.
I want to leave to shock him. I don't want to damage the kids, its complicated. I am really just washed out with this whole ongoing continual argument.
His lack of sleep makes him irritable. All i do is moan. I think the best way to describe it is fed up. I can't see a solution and that is very unlike me.
I keep thinking that when he gets another job he will have to attend a place of employment and things will settle into a new routine.
thanks for listening