Moral Dilemma - How should I advise my friend?

[biryani]

My friend has a bit of a moral dilemma. She has been in an unhappy relationship for some years now and her DCs are just flown. She stayed with her DH for the kids, and was always intending to leave once they did. However, DH has now lost his job and she feels obliged to stay on as financial support. However, she feels she needs to get out more, so to speak, and feels justified in looking for male company whilst continuing to live in the family home. I understand her dilemma, but I'm not sure about pursuing other relationships whilst still living with her DH. how would you advise her?

To grow a set of fucking balls and tell him that she wants out and has done for years. What is she waiting for? Why is she wasting both of their lives? No idea why she feels justified to cheat on her husband, which is what he is, regardless of if she loves him or not. Her not loving him doesn't make it okay. Ask her how she'd feel if the roles were reversed.

Is she willing to let him know exactly where he stands? As in, "I don't love you anymore, have been wanting to leave for years but stayed for the kids. I feel sorry for you at the moment as you've lost your job and need financial support, so I'll hang around for a bit, but will be looking for other guys to shag if I can. Are you OK with that?"

Either she's in a marriage, or she's not.

Ask her what her children would think about her having a relationship with another man while still living with their dad.

She doesn't have to stay with him to help him out financially. If they divide up the assets fairly

Cheating on him after he's just lost his job wouldn't really be any kinder than dumping him. Does she really want to stick the knife in?

Not to mention, guys who are likely to be interested in her while she's attached, are not going to be the best sorts.

Why would she have to stay to support him financially? Sounds like an excuse really. I'd advise her to do it properly and divorce.

If she wants to stay with him while he gets on his feet job/finance wise she should be faithful.I think if she's stayed for years because of the kids a little while longer would be worth it to maintain a good relationship for the kids.

I can imagine how hurt he'd feel if he hasn't seen it coming,just at a low point for him.

Easy for me to say though.