Do you have divorced parents/in laws and if so do you invite them both to partys/family gatherings?

[northerner]

Had the whole family over to mine on boxing day for a bufet. 15 adults and 3 kids, including my parents and sil's parents. Dh's Mum and Dad divorced over 20 years ago and his dad remarried, been married for 23 years now to dh's step mum. Dh and his brother lived with Dad and step mum.

Anyway, his Dad, Mum and step mum came on Boxing day. His Mum had too much vino and made a bit of a spectacle of herself. She is now saying we should never have expected her to be in the same room as them as she still loves her ex and beleives the magic is still there. (Which is totally in her head)

I think, for the sake of the family she should get over this and be adult about it, there are bound to be situations where they will be together in the future. But, as my parents are still together I don't have any experience of this. Am I expecting too much?

Well it seems from what happened you are expecting too much! No I would have thought you were being reasonable. Otherwise every time there is an event you and DH will have to choose between his Mum or his Dad and stepmum. What happened at your wedding? What about your kid's brithdays? Do you have to set up a rota of who can visit when?

Also there were 15 adults. That means that there were 12 other adults she could have been talking to. Its not just like it was you, DH and his parents is it?

MIl and FIl have both remarried, we don't have FIL here when MIL is here, as she hates him, and doesn't even know we have contact with him

Exactly bozza.

Dh's dad and step mum live abroad for 9 months of the year so it's only normally christmas when thay will be together. We normally go to his mums house on boxing day but her dp is very ill and it would have been too much for her this year so I thought I was doing her a favour.

So yes, I guess I'll have to choose who to invite in the future. It's not a problem though for his dad and step mum.