overbearing mother in law

[vineyard]

I don't know how to handle my mother in law. we get on ok to be honest but since first grandchild born she seems to overbearing or is it too intrusive. Here are a few scenarios
take a sunday afternoon visit with my son she chose to speak to my son 4mths old in french she speaks french to my husband as born in france but I don't and it isn't spoken in my home. I was a bit miffed as is it her duty introduce grandson to french without speaking to me first or her own son and assume it is all ok. Prior to this when he was 7 days old wanted to bath him and rang every day enquiring to see if I had bathed him my whilst my own mother spend 2 weeks with me from birth. Quized me about the immuzations and where the clinic was. I don't really don't know how to handle her as would like to maintain a balanced relationship for sake of grandson.

she sounds like an interested and hands-on grandma to me, nothing you've said woulkd have boithered me i don't think.

i would LOVE for my kids to learn another language from birth so would jump at the chance for her and your husband to speak in french to your son.

maybe she feels left out? I know I would if one of my sons had a child and the other grandparent was there every day for 2 weeks and all I could do was ring and ask about how he was

What could possibly be wrong with talking to him in french?!!

Nothing you have said here sounds overbearing tbh, it sounds as if she is loving having a GD and wants to be involved, interested in what is going on etc. if there is nothing else, then I would try to relax about it, really!

Is there something else going on here because she doesn't sound that bad!

It'll be great for your baby to hear another language - brill for his development. Other than that, she just sounds excited.

Nothing sounds wrong here except you are being possessive over the baby. Not nice to try and shut the GM out.

She sounds interested! And the French thing wouldn't bother me at all - I'd love my DH to have another language to talk to our DD in. I really hope your DH will talk to your DC in French - hasn't he already? You need to relax, not all MILs are MILs from hell.

She sounds fine and is possibly feeling a little excluded. Yes you are close to your Mum but in terms of GP she would naturally feel the need to take care of her GS too. Maybe the bathing thing was just an excuse to feel involved in his life? Same with the immunisations thing as it does seem she doesn't have a role here.

The way forward may be to include her, this can be on your terms. You could surely do with a break too?

It is also perfectly natural to speak to a baby in the language you have been brought up with or used with your own DCs, this is nothing against you at all and you shouldn't take it like this. Cut her some slack and see what happens.

i would be grateful she s interested,my MIL is not interested in my son

maybe she was feeling a bit left out if your mum was there for 2 weeks after the birth

why dont u ask her what she is saying to your son in French,i understand it can be frustrating when someone speaks in another language and u dont no what they are sayin

Is your DH French/French speaking. Doesn't he want to speak it in his home to his son? Why would it not be OK to speak to her grandson in her language?

She sounds like a fab grandma. Just try to put yourself 30 years in the future when your ds has grown up, married and had a baby and then maybe cut her some slack. She justs wants to be involved in the baby's life. Your own mum got to spend 2 weeks with you, does she not deserve some precious time with the baby.

People forget that our children are not our possessions but lives to nurture towards independence, we only borriw them for a little while.

God I am dreading becoming a mil.

You're pissed off because she spoke to her grandson in her own language?

all sounds normal and natural to me.

folks thanks for your feedback one and all I have digested all the information and think that maybe she just feeling a bit excluded . I'm a first time mother on maternity leave and wanting to spend all the time with my little man. Maybe cut her some slack hey :0

Don't worry I get it. You've got serious post birth protective hormones going on. People maybe talking to you but you totally focussed on your baby. I had it too. Mother nature!
MIL is probably having flashes and pangs of her DS when he was little.

Don't worry he'll always be yours

It's your hormones playing tricks on you. You're fiercely protective of him and feel that he's 'yours'. It's a v powerful instinct.

But remember that your MIL feels that instinct towards her own ds and seeing him become a Dad is a very poignant and emotional time for her. She'll no doubt be feeling all those things that flooded in when she was a first time Mum and she'll be speaking to her dgc in the language she used then because she's e

Blooming phone...

She's expressing her love in the same way. It's such a good and wonderful thing that your baby has a grandma who is in love with him. Try and keep it in perspective, involve her in a way of your choosing and don't tell her off for using what are probably words of love in a language that comes naturally to her.

Your ds will grow up and marry and have babies one day and you'll love him then as fiercely as you do now and his children as an extension of that. Be the dil that you hope to have one day.

thanks folks will try and tone down the overprotective nature first time mum :-)