What's the right thing to do in this situation?

[purelyhypothetical]

This is hypothetical.

Say you meet someone to whom you are very attracted. Temptingly so. But you are married and happy and committed. The obvious solution is to just not see the other person, yes?

What do you do if the other person is someone your DH gets on well with and wants to see a lot? You can't really tell your husband that you don't want him bringing X round anymore because you fancy him, can you? It's not ideal to suddenly decide you "dislike" X and therefore no longer want to see him. What's the answer?

Just accept it ain't going to happen and see him as 'out of bounds'. As you would if he was, say, your best friend's husband who you see a lot of. I am sure you can control yourself when he is around (hypothetically) .

Yes purelyhypothetical, see it as out of bounds. For the short term, avoid him where you can. Miss the odd night out, go shopping when he comes to see your partner, of get in the bath. Avoid him and watch the feelings go away, give it a month. Well done for not going there, you know it's not right. (Bugger!)

No really, it is hypothetical, honest!

Train of thought thing ... there is someone, via work, who I simply don't see because he's loin-tinglingly attractive. In fact, I suspect my colleague is dipping her toe in those waters, the lucky mare. I just wondered how on earth to cope if he wasn't so easily avoidable.

Anyway, thank you for the good advice should the situation ever arise I am off to namechange back!

Crushes quite often dwindle the more you see of the person. Sooner or later he'll turn up wearing something ghastly, or do a really smelly fart, or reveal his right-wing politics or something else off-putting.

The answer, I think, is to just exert lots of self sontrol, continue to see the person with your DH, and hopefully the 'crush' will wear off as you hang out lots with the person as a friend.

It's all a head game, You have to have control over your mind, accept that it is just a silly little crush and nothing's going to happen and you don't want anything to happen.

No one is going to go through life in a monogamous happy relationship without ever even finding anyone else a little bit attractive.

But a monogamous relationship is about committing to one other person, despite there being hundreds of other possible suitable suitors out there. It is about trust and putting things into perspective.