In which my sociopathic ex accuses me of being a psychopath

[NeedABrew]

Apparently I am a 'psychopath' because I do not feel his pain (he's just messaged me to say this).

He's impulsive - e.g. quitting jobs without giving notice, his sense of entitlement to my money knew no bounds, he lies, he lacks empathy, paranoid, obsessed with his looks, he rang earlier this week claiming to be suicidal because I won't resume our relationship, he competes over whose provlems are bigger, whines that I don't understand him, says I'm just like his ex.

And I'm the psychopath.

I'm so cross with myself for engaging in this.

Just agree with him that yes, you are a psychopath, and it would be in his best interests to run far, far away as quickly as possible.

And then sit down and enjoy life without him while he tells some other poor woman about his crazy ex (you).

Ignore ignore ignore!
You are well rid. I'm hoping you don't have children with him
x

tell yourself: dont engage dont engage dont engage.

Of course, OP - you are the one with the problems. Yes. You can agree with him - as a one-off. (That will keep him quiet for - maybe a day?) BUT

Do NO CONTACT. Do not engage. Do not get sucked in to the twisted game playing.

Sounds like he's projecting HIS issues onto you actually !

IGNORE him.

Do you have DC with this bellend, or linked finances to sort out? If not, send him a text or an email saying 'I do not want any further contact with you. If you persist in attempting to contact me I will involve the police.'
If you have DC/financial issues that need sorting, send him an email saying that all communications on the subject will be via email and you will not respond to phone calls nor will you let him into your home. WIth a man like this, it's not worth the effort of reasonable negotiation, you need to shut him out of your life as much as possible via official means.

If you have no DC together and no links to him otherwise, send him a text/email saying 'piss off and never bother me again....if you do the police will be involved.Goodbye.'

I'm so cross with myself for engaging in this

Stop being cross with yourself by refusing to engage with this tosser.

Send him a straightforward text along the lines that Ghooooliuayelps has suggested, although I would change the wording to Fuck off to the far side of fuck tosspot I do not wish to hear from you again. If you make any further attempt to contact me I will involve the police.

Do you have dc with him?

Don't answer. It will kill him to know whether or not you've read it.
He's a twat.

He's revving up the emotional hoover. He's trying to suck you back into having all your attention riveted on him so he can continue to mess with your head.

DO NOT RESPOND. Don't agree with him, don't deny what he's saying, don't defend your actions, don't try to get him to see your point of view. All that would happen is that you would encourage him to bombard you with even more bullshit. Just delete the message, ignore his dramas and pat yourself on the back for getting away from this loser.

Agree with them all. Don't bite.

Don't even react. ignore all his communication with you.

it will indeed do more harm to him if he doesn't know you have even read it than the actual message is designed to do to you.

I found that the insults that were hurled at me by the x were actually HIS worst fears... so nothing to do with YOU!

detach and raise a to the heavens that he is an EX!

I am cross with engaging, I've ignored it, but I'll be honest, I find it so hard. I still have feelings for him (I know) which I'm working very hard to repress. I come on the posts on here alot to remind myself he's a nasty bastard, and as a bit of a look at what my future would have been like if I got back with him. I don't know how I fell for someone like this and why it's so hard to keep out of.

No DCs, no money linked, but part of a circle of friends and he works in my department. A friend tells me he has a date tonight, so I imagine he'll go quiet now, which should make things quieter.

You don't have feelings for him because you know he is a twat and you don't want a twat in your life. What you have is residual attachment to a person who at some point in the near future you will be glad you have absolutely zero contact with.

I understand the need to engage, its about the need to get a stupidly unreasonable person to see sense, apologise to you then fuck off.You absolutely cannot reason with twats.

Oh don't beat yourself up love, we have ALL done it. They know exactly how to push our buttons.

It's so easy to whitewash over the nasty stuff they have done, but if it helps, grab onto one thing that really pisses you off and whenever you see yourself weakening, remind yourself OUT LOUD of that one thing. My truth was that X told my best friend's H that I had been in a mental institute for FIVE years.

He told him this to get her H to end the friendship with me. So I chose my friend over the now X. Yes it was hard, but it had to be done. I had to remind myself of how life would be if I stayed with him.

Him sulking every time my boy has a birthday
him sulking anytime I had a good day or something nice happen to me
him wanting to isolate me from literally everyone I know

You don't have any reason to stay involved with him, please don't look for any excuses.

You literally have to write him off, he is defunct, broken, a reject. If you stay with him he will see to it that you are destroyed in as many ways as you can be.

He doesn't want you to be happy, he wants you to be sad so he can be happier than you. If you are not sadder than him, he'll do something to make sure you are.

These men are relentless in their pursuit of YOUR misery.