Would this ANNOY you or am I being over sensitive?????

[Eaney]

Another ILaw question. DP's parents seem less than interested in DS and this year refused to come to his christmas play (Christmas shopping to do). They also refused to come to a production during the summer months done by his drama class.

2 years running they forgot his birthday.

All this against a backdrop of going to all the plays that 2 other grandchildren have been in and even going so far as to complain to me that one of thier DIL had not invited them to her christmas play.

But the thing that really annoys me is that on Boxing day grandmother actually called DS a 'useless boy' three time cos he was slow getting his coat on for going home. Now am I being oversensitive? He is 6 BTW.

It would definitely annoy me. You are not being oversensitive. Forgetting birthdays particularly awful.

That would annoy me, that's a horrible thing to say to a child. Shame on her.

omg. i'd be annoyed and be upfront and confront.
after my mum telling me it was a bot of an inconvience to babysit for me, ( i had a emergency with a friend), its was time for me to be direct

Forgetting birthdays is the lesser of the evils here I'd say (my dad still forgets when my birthday is sometimes LOL) what is dreadful is calling him a "useless" boys

Message withdrawn

I would pull her up on the word useless that is a horrible thing to say he is 6 not 16! I hate the use of negative language with kids -- why did she not help him out if he was being slow... awful woman!!

i would have been fuming and let rip!

I'd be cross, 'useless boy' is not on at all imo. The forgetting birthdays and plays I'd forgive, I don't really expect anyone other than me and dh and ex dh to be interested in these!

has your mil got a problem with you at all?

I only ask because it is so unfair to talk about a child like that, and, seems to me a way of attacking you?

(I have mother and mil problems... so I send my sympathies)

Some people have different priorities in life and are best avoided. They seem very selfcentred and your 6 yr old probably has more social awareness and compassion than the pair of them put together. Just remind yourself how wonderful your son is and make sure your son knows too. Invite other family members or friends to his shows to give support. It might suprise you who would appreciate going to things like that.

Not being over senstive at all, she is an obviously useless cow of a GM if you ask me

Feel for you as my MIL was the same . I thought she treated all her grandchildren the same i.e. no presies or cards or anything ever, after all she had probably had enough of kids after having 6 of her own and didn't want to start anything she couldn't keep up when the numbers of grandchildren started to multiply. However, she then use me as a courier to take presies to her daughters girls.

If she wanted to spoil her gradndaughters fine(ish), it's her money, but she could have done it discreetly. It was the insenstitivity that bothered me most - her grandsons and me didn't seem to figure in her universe at all it was as if we weren't related and had no feelings.

I'm afraid one "useless boy" I would have ignored - but after the second we would have left the house and done the coat up outside and never gone back.

PIL told ds off on boxing day - and I let it pass. Some posters think I shouldn't have. But if he'd made any personal comment about him I would have left.

Useless boy

If anyone ever said that to a child of mine, I really don't think I could be responsible for my response!

I would be so livid, I really can't think how I would react!

Mini lecture alert - meant in the most supportive way

He is your child, you have a responsibility to protect him and his self esteem. Don't let this old bag run him down in front of you, without standing up for him. It's not fair on him!!!!

Someone called your precious child useless - and you even need to ask if you are being oversensitive?

erm...no. No No No.

In fact, you are legally entited to take them, encase them in concrete and drop them into a lake.

If ANYONE told my kids they were useless I would rip that persons' arm off and beat them to death with the wet end, so I salute your restraint!