telling DP about my past job - help i've got myself in a panic.

[wellobviouslyihave]

I have named changed for this one.

I have a new DP (just got serious) he is great, is wonderful with my DS who is 4 who loves him.
We were talking the other day about worst jobs we had when we were younger and I suddenly panicked.

When I was in uni (putting myself though) i worked as an escort.

Now I never ever had sex (that was extra) with any of the clients.

But I've got really panicked.

Help!?!?!? do I tell him, is it wrong for me not to, if I do how, will it just ruin everything. Is it wrong to tell him now after months of not telling him?

Actually, I've been thinking about this a lot. I simply don't believe that you put yourself through Uni by non-sexual "escorting" but that's neither here nor there, and I'm certainly not judging you.

But if you feel that bad about it I do think you should seek counselling for your own sake.

I thought an 'escort' was an euphemism for 'paying for a girlfriend for the night - with all that that entails'?

OP, please can you tell us what it meant?

Oh and I wouldn't tell him if he wouldn't find out otherwise.

I've namechanged for this as I did similar work when at uni (not escort work but related to the sex industry; like OP I didn't sleep with clients). My DP knows about it, I never had a moral dilemma about doing so and it was just something that came up in conversation, it wasn't a big deal at the time. I have a different attitude about it to the OP, I never felt any shame in doing it and I've always had a 'take me as I am' approach to life, so I didn't see the point in trying to hide it from him.

DP is a fab person and has never judged me for it, this sort of thing is far outside of his experience. I think he admires me a bit for being confident enough to do that sort of work tbh (I was never pressured into it and it wasn't done out of desperation - there were other jobs I could have done but I genuinely enjoyed the experience). I had dated men before who were a bit offish about it when I told them, or guys who I didn't tell but I could tell that they were the type who would probably not accept it. I consider myself to have made a lucky escape from them .

I think that if this guy is a keeper and likes you as a person, then he'll accept whatever is in your past. And I think it's better for you to know now while you're in the early stages of the relationship.

What did your job entail, singme? Were you doing anything physical with them? Was it phone sex?

I would tell him because to me it would feel like lying by omission if I didn't.

I can see what others are saying about your past being your past and none of his business, but I don't agree with them. Not telling someone you are in a serious relationship something that now has you 'panicked' is not a good basis for a relationship IMO.

No don't tell him, it was in the past , don't jepordise your new relationship,