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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Who does all the organizing and planning for your DC?

6 replies

Vi8 · 24/10/2011 15:33

It's ALWAYS me in our house. DC's extra-curricular stuff, homework, and generally interesting and fun things to do. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one, or do other people's partners contribute here. Husband is always happy to tag along but I'm always the one coming up with ideas (he would deny this and cite the few occasions it's been his idea to go somewhere).

OP posts:
joruth · 24/10/2011 22:26

Me, me, oh yes and then umm me...

and I am insanely jealous of several of my friends who have fully involved, committed partners who do their bit...and without being asked...just cos they are Dad!!!!!

So should we have a big talk with the other half...?? tell them it would be great for them, the DCs and us if they did it?? And could we cope with leaving them to it after so long knowing everything that's going on???

Or are there other things going on that make them part-time partners and parents?????

fargate · 25/10/2011 02:37

Well, yes.

But then again, since I've become a bit 'unreliable' of late, it's amazing what can be done by others Grin

recall · 25/10/2011 02:51

I have to do all of it. I asked my DH to help out a bit with the school run, and he had to meet us there first the day before so I could show him where he had to go. He is clueless as to what goes on. In the mornings, I have to go in to DD's reception class, and choose books and fill her water bottle etc, with the 2 year old running about and the baby parked outside in the buggy. My husband would not be able to cope with this I'm certain. I think its laziness. I would like him to have to do my week with the 3 kids, but the only way it would happen would be if I was ill. It really gets on my tits Angry

fargate · 25/10/2011 03:34

But, more seriously.

There's no shame IMHO in saying this is what's needed rather waiting to be asked. And if the responsibility for day to day tasks can't be negotiated before then afterwards their non-completion are an equal 'failure'.

As long as you keep [resentfully] keeping things afloat you will doubtless be permitted to do so & continue to carry the burden alone.

Maybe, you could compose a list of 'my tasks' and 'your tasks' as a basis for discussion - and change.

Good luck.

Gay40 · 25/10/2011 03:44

All of us. No problems here.

laptopwieldingharpy · 25/10/2011 04:02

Me mostly but I've come to realise that if i order delegate, he's actually happy to be asked.

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