Separate cards again from the Inlaws

[MeerkatsUnite]

Yet again DH and I have received separate Christmas cards from the outlaws. Did not say anything again re this (should have done) but don't want to start a row because DH thinks the world of his Mother (I however think she's a shrew).

Is it just me or is this a bit thoughtless not to say downright rude on MIL's part (she writes each card to us; FIL not bothered with such things). Was wondering what the thoughts/motives are behind such actions if anyone else's PILS do such things.
Your thoughts are appreciated.

At least shrew did not this time around present a small (child's lunchbox sized) bottle of Evian water saying, "this is for your BIL". My thoughts at that time were along the lines of FFS!!!.

My best wishes to you all for 2006 and thank you for reading.

Meerkats

She's a loon, pathologically unable to let go of her precious boy. But basically a loon.

I don't understand - are you saying she writes "to xxx(dh) Merry Christmas Mum" on one and "to xxx(you) Merry Christmas from (her full name)?

It sounds like there is some back history here.

I may well call her a shrew but cannot think of anything offhand that I have done that has upset her (unless she counts marrying her son!).

Well on DH's she has written To (name of DH) Harry Christmas With lots of love from Mum and Dad xxx; on mine she's written To (my name) with love from (name of MIL) and (name of FIL)xx.

Still cannot understand why we get two cards but I do know that my DH gives a separate card to his Mum and Dad (his Mum gets a flowery card from Clintons, his Dad does not). Don't get his train of thought there either.

Think the desciptive word "Loon" is appropriate.

I menat Happy not Harry!.

LOL!!!

how long have you been married?has she always done this?id be rite pisd off with a husband who doesnt say anything or perhaps he dosnt wana rock the boat like lots of men

Unless I am missing something that sounds sensible - they are not your parents and obviously still want to write from mum and dad on dh's card. if he sends them 2 then they are only doing the same thing.

Weird but this is about more than the card n'est pas? There are some strange MILs about it seems!

Should be to 'A dear son & daughter in law'! There are heaps of cards out there.

Its no so much the words that bother me so much as the perceived (to me) lack of acceptance. It just comes across as thoughtless. We are a couple and have been married for nearly 11 years.

I don't think my DH should send two cards to his parents either but I say nowt to keep the peace. I just think its a bit strange. He thinks nothing of his Dad but his Mum can do no wrong.

i agree with ugm that there are so many cards out there now, even saw sum "to the cat" at xmas!

i wouldn't worry TBh abput the cads.
My looney sister sends sep cards to everyone, so we had 9 cards from their house to our house thid year
they have 2 kids and so do we, I just snet a handmade crd from ds1 to them all.

You know I wouldn't bother about the seperate cards thing at all, unless you think it is a deliberate slur. My dp and his family buy seperate cards for everyone and my family rarely do cards at all. It seems to me just to be different traditions.

odd

maybe shes thinking of you and didn't watn you to think you only got a card cos you marrined her son, but that you deservced one ion your own right. think you could look at it nicely if you wanted to but you don't becauas eof your perceptions of her.

no, it's odd

sorry, I mean, i don't know anyone that gets separate xmas cards from parents, PIL for Xmas if married. It's strange.

might not be in her mils mnind though. even though it is in yours.

I think what you've described is ok. It does sound odd to me, but she has put with love from her and fil. Obviously just wants to keep writing 'from mum and dad' to her son.

Does it bother you that she puts 'lots of love' from her and fil to your dh, and just 'love' to you?

It's fairly easy to read more than is intended into something like this. My mil once sent us a 'To my Son and His Wife' card once at Christmas time. Dh got a lot of grief over that one as I would have preferred daughter-in-law. But, looking back, I don't think mil actually meant anything by it.

The bottom line is that she made the effort to buy and write you a card. Maybe this is just how it's done in her family? HTH.

My Nan and Grandad often do this with my Mum and her DH and with me and DH too. They are not shrews though and I have always just thought it as one of their little quirks, along with the fact that she calls quiche, quaunch.

Are you the only family they have? Ive thought sometimes that it might also be an excuse for them to buy more stuff as they dont buy for anyone else.

Avalon,

I think this is just how its done in their family and I should not read too much into it. I think it is normal behaviour for her but not for me.

The different words on each card don't bother me in the slightest - its just the fact that we've been married for some years now and we still do not get a joint card!. Maybe I should perhaps chill out a bit re this particular matter (a New Years resolution!).

MMH - we're the only family they have apart from BIL who still lives with them (and he's in his early 40s now).

Odd but not offensive IMO. Would chill about it personally. My MIL sent a Son and Daughter-in-law card and signed it "lots of love Mum and Dad". My Mum sent a general card and signed it "From Mum and Dad" without bothering to write our names in it or anything so lot of effort gone in there. However I forgive her because she sends both kids a card each and carefully prints in large letters "To xxxx with love from Grandma Y and Grandad Z xxx".