shall I give up now?

[thinkingtoohard]

namechanged for this one.

I've been with my DP for nearly 4 years. He is a lot younger than me (i'm 40 and he is 25) I know it sounds a bit cliche, but he is the best man I have ever met. He works hard, makes me laugh like I never have and is everything I really want in a man. kind, loyal and always there for me. I was with my horrible abusive ex for many years and finally got away from him - I truly believe I've found my soulmate.

He moved in with me and my dd (six) two years ago and we began trying for a baby a year ago..(he has no children). without success :(

Anyway my G.P has sent us both for tests and he is fine...but I am not. last week The hospital said it's unlikely I will conceive naturally and I am too old for IVF on the nhs - we could never afford to go private.

Now I am wondering whether I can stay with him knowing that I cannot give him a child of his own....he really wants children but has said it doesn't matter and he just wants to be with me - but am I being fair on him?

I don't want to get 5 or 10 years down the line and he buggers off to look for someone who can give him a child. This has kept me awake for the last week...it's stupid I know but I keep crying. everything was so perfect and I finally thought I had found happiness..I love him so much.

what would you do? Is it really possible for a man who so badly wants children to give that up for me? Will he resent me in the future?

tia x

[knockedupagain]

thinking It may well not be realistic for you to have a child that is genetically both yours and your DPs, but results using a donor egg are much more likely to be successful. How much would it matter to you so long as it was his baby you were carrying? This gives you 10 years to get your other problems sorted out. I'm 50 and am due to give birth next month. I had one try at IVF with donor egg (and sperm as I am single), and got lucky. Age is only a factor if you are using your own eggs - well 50 is the cut off in Spain, where I went, but that gives you loads of time. Might be worth having a think about!

[thinkingtoohard]

Thank you so much for your help...

Squeaky you sound lovely and brave.. and I'm sure your a brill stepmum :)

AF, I'm so sorry for your situation. You were so young when you found out too..it must have been terrible for you..You have made me think very differently now. I'm lucky to have a good man, so I'm going to explore other options. :)

knockedup

Would you mind if I asked you more about the process you went through? Costs and procedures involved? I think it's amazing that you are having a baby at 50..wow well done you!

Your post filled me with so much hope....you don't know how much. Thank you so much xx

[AnyPhantomFucker]

TTH, I am still with my DH (I am mid 40's now)

we have 2 dc

don't give up hope x