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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I a failure if I go back home?

26 replies

MilkandWine · 21/10/2011 18:57

Don't know if this is strictly 'relationships' but not sure where else to post. I suppose it could count as my relationship with myself though![hwink]

Light-heartedness aside, I'm feeling so bloody miserable at the moment that I really could so with some feedback about what others would do if they were me.

I moved to London from the North East in July after splitting up with my DP. I have a few friends here but don't know anybody else apart from that. I'm living in my own flat and I work from home.

Trouble is I think I fell into the trap of thinking that if I moved away my life would get better (At the time I felt really miserable back at home) Instead it is just proving soooo hard that I seem to spend at least 50% of the time in or on the verge of tears. My friends are busy a lot of the time (which is fair enough they have their lives to get on with) But it means I'm alone a lot. I can't help feeling angry at them as they were all 'Move to London, it will be such fun'. Yet one of them isn't even answering my text messages and we were supposed to be going out tonight. It's getting to be a bit of a patten with her! So I'm stuck in again alone, feeling utterly miserable.

I've tried meeting men (not looking for anything serious, just to hang out with and have fun with). The first turned out to be a total flake who went on holiday with his ex and got her pregnant! The second is this guy who I liked far too much from the off. Only he has a girlfriend and is in some stupid 'open' relationship and I know I have to be sensible and not even go there. It's pathetic of me but it's really upset me. I've asked my ex to come down for the weekend and I'm paying for his ticket to do so (he's broke). I literally can't cope with the thought of another weekend with no company and I miss him so much (even though I know I'm being really weak).

So, if I go home when my lease is up in Feb does that mean I've failed? I love London and I really want to make it work but I don't know if I'm up to the task. Is it really worth all the tears, loneliness and heartache? I'm getting to the point where I feel so sad and down I can't even be proactive as my brain is all fuzzySad

OP posts:
kallima · 05/11/2011 08:12

I found it REALLY hard when I lived in london at the start. I did the whole joining clubs thing and you know, it does work eventually! the best one I joined was called 8th Day which organises lots of activities both inside and outside London. have a look at it online, very friendly people who are pretty much all in the same boat as you - wanting to meet people/make friends and do stuff too. my first trip with them involved a weekend away surfing in Cornwall - I'm still friends with the people who were in the car with me (for 5 hours each way - poor things!) and that was 4 years ago now. no I'm not on commission either Grin honest!!

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