If this was you talking about your OH, how would you finish the sentence...

[LeoTheLateBloomer]

(Context: he works shifts does a fair bit of overtime and enjoys volunteering in the community).

"I'd just really like him to be home more so that..."

we can do fun things together as a family

we get to see him more

i don't have to do all the dull jobs myself (housework, laundry, cooking etc..)

I could go out more

We could just "chat"

he could clear up the cat sick that I have been ignoring in the conservatory!

(in my defence I'm ill in bed and only spotted it when staggering to the kitchen!)

We could shag more.

I would never actually say this to anyone though.

he can live in the real world

His ds actually gets to see him.

so we could argue some more
well you did ask!

I could fucking STOP for a second.

I feel like I actually have an OH.

He could do some of the hard/boring/frustrating stuff instead of being an adult (at work); feeling valued (volunteering).

Oh I don't at all

I felt as important as the other stuff.

Ditto Astronaut

he can relax and spend time on himself and enjoy things that he wants to do.

Thanks!

Since the end of my shockingly dysfunctional marriage I've become a bit of a relationship observer to try and get a picture of what a 'normal' relationship is like.

My friend said the sentence I mentioned in the OP and finished with "...he could help." It made me quite sad that she said that. She's always going on about needing him to do stuff around the house; she never talks about wanting to do things as a family/spend time with him because she enjoys his company apart from when she wants to ttc DC2.

I suppose I just hope that one day if I were to say that sentence it would end with "so we can spend some time together".

It's not soppy to want those things :) I think the nicest days we've had as a family have been when in desperation to escape a descent in to whinging and bickering (the kids that is, not dh and I) we've gone to a park or the seaside to fly a kite. It's so much nicer when we're all there, if only because it's such hard work looking after two toddlers on your own I end up yelling at them and getting all stressy. Having my wing man there makes the day all the more relaxed and fun.

We can hang out as a family. We already do though, we are lucky to work 9 to 5 with a 10 minute commute.

Dp and I work opposite shifts. Mon to Fri we see each other for 45mins at dinner and then an hour at ten pm when he comes home. He works till two every other Sat, the other he does nights so sleeps till two. He works every Sunday he can usually till oneish. Occasionally it would be nice not to feel like a single parent! Time together is precious time even if it is just spent with me, him and dd snuggling on the sofa !

...we might actually have some sort of meaningful relationship, rather than him being knackered and distracted and zoned out in front of Sky Sports half asleep all the time