You were all right

[SpareRoomSleeper]

I posted on here before. About my H, who is sabotaging my studies at university.

I think our relationship is coming to an end now. I cant handle this anymore.

I dont know what to say. My fingers are stiff and hard with cold, and I am shaking. But my mind is blank.

Where would I and DD live?

I cant live at my mums. She lives far away and I have to finish this course. I have to.

Where do people like me go? What would happen if he threw me out like he is saying he will?

Please, advice needed. Practical advice, whats the general procedure in such circumstances?

And I couldnt carry on living here even if I had the right by law till it sells etc, because he will make my life even more hell than it is.

Ok, so I summoned the courage to ring the students advice centre today...and they said to ring back between 10-12pm tomorrow. Feel like a deflated balloon now, and thinking what the hell am I doing.

Told H. He said that's fine, let me know when you're going.

Can't believe this is happening.

Any change this big is a shock to the system. It's happening, and it's for the best. You are taking charge of your own future, because you want a better life for you and DD, free of a soul-sucking man (...nice emotional response he had there, by the way . He's just made of empathy, isn't he?)

Sweetheart you can do this, I'm a lone parent doing an undegrad degree. It isn't easy but it is do-able.

Oh FFS, that's useless of them . Still, at least you have a time and can ring tomorrow. Make sure you tell them what you need and don't underplay it or be fobbed off.

I finished my degree as a LP (actually got back together and broke up again in the middle), I still study and work now and I teach. Still as a LP - it's absolutely do-able.

The thing is, life is always better once you get rid of a shit man, because a large part of your mind is suddenly freed up from all the waiting, hoping, fretting, struggling about how to make him behave better when the answer is that he never will, because he's a shit, and now you don't have to bother about him any more.

^that^

Totally right SGB

Oh FFS

that

Your H's response really tells you everything that you need to know. Ring tomorrow, don't feel let down about not being able to speak to someone today. You've taken the first step which is probably the most difficult. Keep the momentum going.

just sending hugs... you'll be stronger than you think and SGB is totally right.

If you arse of a P is such a total jerk....will this really totally bad news for your mum to get or perhaps this'll be something she has secretly expecting? Just a thought....

Well done. So, what do you have planned between 10 and 12 tomorrow?

Look forward to a life that is twuntless.

I'm so sorry SRS about it all. What your not so 'd' h said and also how useless the student advice people were.

Could you try womens aid for advice instead? As well as the student thing.

I remember your previous thread and was so angry for you. Just wanted to wish you well. I'm certain you'll be fine because you're not allowing this excuse-for-a-man to put you down any longer.

"Just let me know when you're going." Pah. I wouldn't even bother to do that. Inadequate twat.

I ended up a single mum to a 3 year old and a baby at the age of 28 - was never part of my life plan either. Absolutely dreaded telling my 3 year old that his Dad was moving out, but when I did he said "Good" !!!! Kids aren't imume to being in a horrible environment - if it's miserable you won't be helping your DD by staying. And life as a single parent has not been bad at all. Now seeing a lovely bloke - not something that could ever have happened if I'd stayed with their dad.

Good luck with the university services - you'd probably be fine in a single student room for a while if it's just you and one toddler, if they can find you one. If they don't help, you should try the council - the homelessness section will have a duty to find you somewhere to stay as long as you tell them that you've been forced to leave and have nowhere else to go. Once you've sorted out benefits, etc you can either try and get a council/housing association place (council will tell you how to do that too), or see if you can find the money to rent somewhere privately (some councils run rent deposit schemes which can help).

I ended up a single mum to 5 in my 40s and my only wish was that I could have done it way earlier, in my 20s. (Not that I would send the DCs back of course).