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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Has anyone met their new man on the internet and it has worked out?

61 replies

MeAndMyGirl · 18/10/2011 18:58

Split up with DD's dad about a million years ago and as a laugh went on internet dating site and started talking to a man who lives in Northern Ireland; I live in Scotland. Anyway he came over the other weekend and it was fab and he is coming over in another couple of weeks. He has sent me lovely presents in post, called me loads but not in mad stalker way and is v funny.
He seems v normal and kind and funny; but I am not sure. I just wondered if anyone had any good outcomes of meeting online?

OP posts:
2tired2bewitty · 18/10/2011 19:01

Two girls I work with have just got engaged to people they met online, so happy outcomes are definitely possible. Make sure you take all the recommend precautions though, until you are certain. Good luck Grin

RitaMorgan · 18/10/2011 19:03

I met DP online (though not on a dating site) - first started chatting online about 7 years ago, I lived abroad and he had a girlfriend. They split up, I moved back to the UK (those two events weren't linked in any way!), we got together about 4 years ago, I moved cities to live with him, we now have a 14 month old ds. I'd say it's worked out so far!

LittleHouseofHorror · 18/10/2011 19:04

Hi MAMG

Come over to the dating thread and have a nose through and you will hear the highs and lows of net dating.

I have met a goodun on POF and am very optimistic he is a keeper. I have also met some deranged weirdos but if you keep your MN Red Flag checklist handy then you should be able to spot them!

CleverHans · 18/10/2011 19:04

I met my wife on an internet dating site. Second child on the way and we are both very happy (and pretty normal too I think) :-)

msrisotto · 18/10/2011 19:06

I met DH on my single friend, we got married 2 months ago.

C4ro · 18/10/2011 19:06

Yes and Yes- 3 years today + DD. Also met some very good friends online.

mycatsaysach · 18/10/2011 19:07

a friend of mine met her husband on line - they have been happily married for a few years.
she was .......um someone i always thought would be single iykwim.

LittleHouseofHorror · 18/10/2011 19:09

Why are you not sure? What is unsettling you because it all sounds lovely?

singleandhappy · 18/10/2011 19:09

Hi meandmygirl! I met my new man on Plenty of fish about 6 months ago and it's still going strong!! However I have taken it veryyyyyy slowly as we both have children and have come out of relationships in the last couple of years. We e mailed for a few weeks before meeting and got to know each other quite well. It is strange getting to know someone from scratch as you don't know them through someone else (as you might normally meet someone). I see it lasting though, and I am very cautious and wasn't expecting to meet someone online!!
I have a friend that also met his current girlfriend online and they had a daughter together last year!!
From my point of view I wouldn't really have the chance to meet someone on a day to day basis, as my life pretty much means I don't met single men! I don't see any reason why it wouldn't work out from meeting online anymore than meeting someone in a club really.
Take it slowly and good luck!!! Smile

MeAndMyGirl · 18/10/2011 19:18

yes i agree, with being on my own with dd don't get opportunity to meet men and am too old in the head now for meeting people in bars, pubs etc. it has taken me totally by surprise as he is lovely which sadly makes me automatically suspicious due to ex being fuckwit of highest order. am having loads of fun n taking it slowly at same point. am enjoying having a good relaxed fun time for first time in ages with a lovely man. think have learnt from past mistakes and am not jumping in and regretting it later

OP posts:
knitknack · 18/10/2011 19:20

I met my gorgeous DH on loveandfriends.com and knew from the minute I saw his pic that he was 'my person' - in fact his photo was the only reason I joined up! I went to bed and when I woke up in the morning he'd seen my profile and messaged me! Me met that weekend and haven't been apart since :)

I realise that it can also go very wrong, but for us it went very, very right!

Good luck! (ps I also have two ds's, who were 6 and 8 at the time, and he doesn't want children of his own - but has turned out to be a fantastic step-dad - is currently reading how to train your dragon as we speak!)

ThatsNotMyBabyBelly · 18/10/2011 19:20

Met DH on match 6 years ago, married for 3 with 2 dc's. Just take it carefully and really listen to any alarm bells. There are a lot of players on there too.

RightUpMyRue · 18/10/2011 19:20

5 years in January...still very happy.

smackapacca · 18/10/2011 19:21

Met DH on Speeddater.co.uk 6 years ago. Married for 4.5. 2 DCs. All good!

FabbyChic · 18/10/2011 19:22

My mum met her man on line about ten years ago, she met him one week and moved in with him the next, still together.

My sons Auntie met her husband on line about 8 years ago.

marthastew · 18/10/2011 19:26

I met DH on a dating site. V happy and have DS. We're normal - well, as normal as people get.

Make sure you meet each other's friends and family - so you can each see each other in context iyswim.

Onemorning · 18/10/2011 19:26

Met DH on Yahoo in 2005. All good so far :)

CupOfBrownJoy · 18/10/2011 19:27

I met DP online. We're ttc and about to get engaged.

He's the most normal guy I've ever dated! We thank our lucky stars every day that we found each other....

NosfeRaahhtu · 18/10/2011 19:30

I 'met' dh 8 and a half years ago on the Dating Direct site, been married 4 and a half years- 3 children, ds (nearly 9) dd1(5) dd2 (1). (Ds was 5 months old when we got together- 'sperm donor' not on the scene).

very happy, so a definitely a success story!Grin

MeAndMyGirl · 18/10/2011 19:30

all sounds v lovely congrats to you all!!
hope to share a nice story too in a couple of years!!

OP posts:
CupOfBrownJoy · 18/10/2011 19:35

Listen to your instincts about him, MeAndMyGirl.

That's the best advice I can give, really...

Silver66 · 18/10/2011 19:42

yep - over five years - thought he was a bit, not man enough for me at first, got to know his rock hard thighs (cyclist), and the rest is history - both got kids - still very happy Grin

blackcurrants · 18/10/2011 19:42

Yes - met DH on a dating site, been together 6 years, married 3.
We took things REALLY slowly, talked a lot, and talked a lot about the fact that we weren't in the same city made things easier AND harder.

It was easier because we got to have all the heady rush of longing for each other, all the flirty emails and we were sort of forced to take it quite slowly, too, which was good for me cos I was wary after a nasty breakup, so I found it nice that I had a new boyfriend but he wasn't all over my life just yet ... and in the long term, it was easier because we had to learn to really talk and really listen to each other (hours on skype!), which I think set us up well for a good relationship.

It was harder because in some ways it was a false... well not quite false, but 'different' intimacy, talking and talking, it's not the same as realising that it's annoying when he leaves his socks there, or whatever. And it meant when we DID see each other we had whole weekends free for each other and wore our best pants etc, which is NOT what living together is like. I suspect we stayed in the 'honeymoon' phase for longer because we didn't live in the same city.
And long-distance is bloody hard work whenever or however it starts, and good fodder for unnecessary drama. Plus you have fights but no makeup sex! that's not fun.

In the long run, it worked well for us, and he's lovely and everything I could want, after 2 years apart at the start and then all these years together... I definitely think I got to know him REALLY well before getting close to thinking about moving in together, which helped.

I think there's a lot less stigma about meeting people online now, though my Mum hasn't got over it yet Hmm

teahouse · 18/10/2011 19:48

One of my best friend met a lovely guy online and they married recently. They are prefect together.

Me - been internet dating on and off for about 6 years. Not really met anyone - 1 short term relationship (7 months), and 2 very short term ones (4 months).

Seems to work for some, but clearly not for me - but then I've been a single mum for over a decade and am now middle-aged so am probably pretty past it - far to much competition from younger women also!

DistinctlyMintyMonty · 18/10/2011 20:09

I met my DH on...uh...World of Warcraft. This, I know, makes us not normal and collossal geeks, but we like it that way [hgrin]

It was nice, really. We became friends before realising we rather liked each other, so we met up as friends - and then became best friends, supported each other through other relationships. Eventually I realised I was comparing my then DP to my now DH, and he was apparently doing the same thing. He met my parents six months before we got together, and Mum adored him. He lived 5 hours away which made things difficult, but we saw each other regularly every two weeks before I moved up there after a year. I know some people say that on the internet you can think hide who you truly are, but it didn't apply in our case.

We've been together 3 and a half years, married for almost two weeks, and we're just disgustingly happy.

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