Big falling out

[Rogers1]

In an early thread...I mentioned my sister & my brother in law were 'friends with benefits'. It made things awkward for me & DH as its obvious my sister wanted more.
BIL- messages her tonight & says he doesn't want anything other than sleeping together & that said...he regrets even starting it.
She has blamed me & DH for telling BIL that she wanted more...(when we have not & have agreed to leave well alone) & has now told me to stay out of her life & she doesn't want any more to do with me.
I am so upset & angry that this has happened as she was my best friend & I know BIL called thinks off because he only wanted a one-night stand...not relationship. Feel like me & DH have been made escape goats!
I just don't know what to do...devastated.

It will blow over.. I didnt see your other thread, but assume your sister was seeing your husbands brother... never a good recipe.

She may be angry now, but I bet she calms down and realises that she was being used. Just give it a bit of time. She probably feels really embarassed too, and that is fuelling her anger at the moment.

at escape goats.

Is 'escape goat' not right? I'm sooo angry. I think she is probably embarrassed but I never expected her to turn on me like he has. Apart of me feels like phoning her & telling her the real reason he has finished their 'arrangement' but the other part is too hurt to even speak to her

Agree with squeakyfreaky- let her calm down a bit as she must not just be upset but feel pretty used. And it is easier to turn on you as you are close to her and she know she can hurt you -its just like when little kids lash out.

nope its scapegoat but I can see how upsetting this is and how difficult for you and dh to be stuck in the middle.

its part of being a sister - I think I have been to blame for ruining my sisters life for things I had no idea about for the last 30 odd years.. I am quite skilled now as can do it without even thinking about/realising it.

Her logic doesn't work though. Because if he was really into her, he'd have been over the moon to learn she fe;t the same way (assuming you HAD told him, which you hadn't).

It's not as if he was secretly falling in love with her and the moment you didn't say said something he got scared and changed his mind. That would make him flaky and mad.

She's obviously embarrassed and hurt so don't be too hard on her. Hopefully she'll grow up and get over it soon.