In brief my dh wants to move away from the city we are now living in, to a coastal area so that he can buy a business and have a change of career/lifestyle etc etc. He's in his mid 40's and while he has a good, well-paying job here, he keeps saying that he's had enough and wants to do something else. I guess what he means is that he'd like to be his own boss for a change and have an opportunity to make more money.
The difference between us is that dh has nothing to keep him here. He's always been a bit like this and when he gets an idea about something he wants to do, he doesn't see why he shouldn't just be able to do it. He has two grown-up sons who are now supporting themselves (they live in a nearby area but we don't see them very often), his mother has just moved a long distance away, and he has no real close friends or relationships here. He hardly ever sees or contacts his relatives so that's not important to him either, & in fact most of his relationships seem to be more like 'acquaintances', eg. his colleagues.
On the other hand I have some long-term friends here and have my son is settled into a good school, I'm also a part-time student & work part-time. My family are close by and have a good relationship with both me and my son, which is important because I am a family-oriented person whereas dh is definitely not. My parents in particular have tried really hard for YEARS to make dh feel like one of the family but he's never really returned the effort of trying to get to know them, and in fact I think he tries to avoid them most of the time - but that's another story I suppose. Over the past few years (since I became a mother) I have worked really hard at building relationships with other mums, making some new friendships and more recently getting involved with ds' school, and am just at a point where I feel he is very settled - and that we are both very 'entrenched' in our lives here. Dh on the other hand finds it very easy not to put down any roots and can't see why I shouldn't be able to just pick up and go. I understand that he has his career/life/job satisfaction to think about but he seems very unwilling to consider any other options except THIS one.
Should I have the attitude that he's the main breadwinner and therefore I should go wherever he wants to go, or is it reasonable to tell him that I simply don't want to do it because of all the reasons I've listed above? He knows I'm not happy about the thought of moving away from the city we live in, but he truly thinks I shouldn't have an issue with it. It's now becoming a bone of contention and I don't know what to do. I know that families pick up and move every day if the husband gets transferred or gets a promotion, but this is just something that dh wants to do and I'm not the sort of person who just likes to get up and go for the sake of it. This business may end up being a great opportunity, but on the other hand if it's the wrong decision it might make us all unhappier and dh a LOT busier. I would be interested to hear how others would feel and what you would do if you were in my shoes.. thanks.