For a while I had been suspicious of my dh.
We have been together nearly 12 years. Married nearly 7 and have 3 & half year old twins. We have had a rough time over the past few years but have always been so strong and always there for each other.
Anyway my dh friend introduced my dh to a lady on msn. They started all catting and I knew about that. Then she asked my dh friend for my dh mobile no he asked first. I had no prob with any of this because we all belong to a voluntary organisation and they do training together.
It wasnt long before I noticed that my dh had changed his mobile phone habits. He never left it around and the messages on it were always deleted even though this was something I usually did every now and again as he never did it & my messages wouldnt get too him. He would every now and again make it obvious he had got a text but never let me see. I just had a feeling something was going on that I didnt know about. I overheard him one day answer his phone and all he said was I've got my kids around me. They asked who it was and he said it was a male friend but he had talked in such a strange way there was no way it was her. I got hold of his phone 2 days later and it was this womans no on call register.
So I set the msn to log messages. I went out. Later that night when he had gone to bed I opened it up and the messages on there didnt make good reading.
Things were said like
"Oh dear she thinks theres something going on" to which he replies "no she trusts me. That makes it hard". Various other things were written which were very hard to read. I phoned my friend to come and get me it was 12.30am.
We sat talking for ages and had convinced each other that it was all just msn messaging.
I went home the next day and started up a conversation with her. I did this because they had chatted quickly about going out for a drink. I did sort of know about this but didnt think he was serious about it! In 5 lines I had found out that they had been out for dinner before. He had lied to me about being with a work colleague. I felt crushed.
I spent 4 more nights at my friends house but came back in the day to be with the children. It was over 2 weeks ago now and Im struggling so much with it all.
If anyones got any advice I would appreciate it. I think the worse thing in all this was that I was happier than I had been in years in all areas of my life.
Its also hard to understand why he did it when he says that it was because he needed to learn how to talk to me again. So he takes a complete stranger out would have thought it should have been me he took out. Cant understand his reasons at all. He says he was doing it for us.
When I read the msn log he had opened up about some really personal stuff. He has since said that he was getting 10+ txts a day but that they were all just things like im bored at work. etc. but Ive got to take his word for it (which i cant at the moment)
How do I start trusting him again? I do really love him but is it enough?
Hope someone can help.