Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Why would DH be saying insulting things to me in his sleep?

49 replies

PippiLongBottom · 14/10/2011 10:05

The other morning he was tossing and turning in bed. He was just getting over a cold and said a couple of other random nonsensical, slightly delirious things and I said "you're such a fidget" and he replied "you know where the door is" and then a few minutes later told me to "shut up" and put his hand into a fist. He also said something similar last night.

What is going on here then?

OP posts:

InnocentRedhead · 16/10/2011 22:24

I have got a link to look up for you Sleep talking man this man says a lot of offensive things in his sleep and often some a little scary, but he seems like a great guy.

If you don't believe him, then is there a reason when he's awake for you to not believe him? Or is it just in his sleep?

WitchOfWoo · 16/10/2011 22:35

Does he watch or play violent computer games or was his temperature up a bit with the cold?

On a lighter note, dh woke me up to ask if I made 'a good omelette as we had lots of eggs but it had to be good'.
He had no recollection in the morning.

Original poster

PippiLongBottom · 16/10/2011 23:09

He plays Call of Duty, yes. All the fucking time. (when not working obv)

OP posts:

WitchOfWoo · 17/10/2011 14:19

Burn it.

His mind may still be playing the game even when he is asleep.

ShriekingLisa · 17/10/2011 14:51

i talk in my sleep the other week i fell asleep on the sofa and DH said 'why dont you go to bed, you'll get a stiff neck' and i replied with

'no i dont want to go to fucking bed ok?'

i said it so nasty, i had no recolection of this though.

sayithowitis · 17/10/2011 16:46

i talk, laugh, sing etc in my sleep. Always have done. My mum is full of 'amusing' anecdotes about things I used to say when a child. DH often refers to conversations we've had whilst I've been asleep. Apparently I have very sensible conversations and this is why DH used to find it impossible to believe I was actually sleeping at the time. I don't know if I've ever said anything bad or nasty, but I know I have told jokes as well as discussing news stories. But I never, ever have any memory of it in the morning. So i guess it is entirely possible that your DH really does not know what he is saying.

LissieLovettsDeliciousMeatPies · 17/10/2011 16:49

I do this, especially when Im tired. I have convos with dh, walk around the house calling the dog to follow me. once I ran downstairs in a panic because I hadnt fed the bird in 6 months.

we dont have a bird. Im terrified of them.

once dh awoke to find me twirling like a ballerina in the corner of the room. when he didnt give me a standing ovation I said (in a cockney accent) "cock off you fucker"

Im a shropshire lass, born and raised.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 17/10/2011 17:15

"cock off you fucker"...love it!

My elder son has always talked and laughed in his sleep, it's possible to have long converstaions with him. On at least three occasions he has laughed so much that he fell out of bed. According to his wife he still does this.

Younger son used to sleepwalk as a small child and once came downstairs when we had friends round, walked into the kitchen, peed in the mop bucket and then went back to bed...sound asleep throughout.

My husband has twice tried to arrest me in the early hours of the morning...once he tried to put me in an arm lock and only woke up when I kicked him hard on the shin.

LissieLovettsDeliciousMeatPies · 17/10/2011 17:55

Apparently he clapped dutifully (can you tell he has grown accustomed to my nocturnal weirdness?) but it wasn't good enough for prima donna me. I deserved a standing ovation dammit.

LissieLovettsDeliciousMeatPies · 17/10/2011 17:55

Apparently he clapped dutifully (can you tell he has grown accustomed to my nocturnal weirdness?) but it wasn't good enough for prima donna me. I deserved a standing ovation dammit.

zombiebillysolloxx · 17/10/2011 22:19

The good ladies of mumsnet tell you they have experienced this but still you dont seem convinced i think there may be more to this than sleep talking, then again im probably completely wrong i am a man at end of day [hgrin]

Original poster

PippiLongBottom · 18/10/2011 15:20

Billy: in my second to last post, I said that the convincing reports on the thread had made me view it in a different light, so you are incorrect in your opinion I'm afraid.

OP posts:

Booboostoo · 18/10/2011 16:04

Yet another sleep talker here. Apparently I do it with my eyes wide open, can sit up in bed, and look totally awake. I can hold entire, rational conversations or say entirely irrational weird things and can be horrible and abusive to OH. I swear to you I do not mean it or remember it...it did take me a while to convince OH of that.

Caro12345 · 08/01/2017 11:43

A couple of years ago my husband managed to give me a black eye while he was sleeping. He had no awareness of doing it and was really shocked when he saw me in the morning. He is not an aggressive man, has hardly even raised his voice to me in all our time together, and that's a long time! It has left me feeling really vulnerable and my sleep pattern is a disaster as I wake up as soon as I feel him starting to flail around and now always face away from him in bed to protect my face. Sometimes, when he is restless one of us will head for the spare room. I feel really lonely with this as he won't talk about it, obviously has no knowledge of doing it and it makes me feel really petty for telling him in the morning. It's having a big effect on us and really don't know what to do next.

Fallonjamie · 08/01/2017 11:45

What's with all the ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE threads today?

SandyY2K · 08/01/2017 11:47

What's with all the ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE threads today?

That's what I was thinking.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 08/01/2017 11:54

You could be having a conversation with my OH and he'd fall asleep and start saying the most random shit things! Something about laying driveways, shouting at his mate (who he hadn't fallen out with) and hysterically laughing. I'd think he was still awake and bloody weird until I looked at him

daddyorscience · 08/01/2017 19:33

My ex did it. Sat up, asked me for a pen and paper, proceeded to write some very interesting code down (developer), then sparked out. Next morning, I showed it her..."ooh! That'd do it. I've been trying to solve that for days, how did you...".. Told her, got "don't be silly.. Really?". DD has also been found wandering round staring at things.. When I've asked if she's OK, I got "I'm looking at the tree"..."ah.. Where are you?"..."I'm in the garden, dad".."OK, kiddo.. Well, you come with me. You're dreaming, let's get you back to be, shall we?".. No recollection at all..

Imavinoops · 08/01/2017 19:39

Sometimes when I try and wake DP up early I get a bit of a mouthful but he isn't really awake properly and has no idea he even said it once he is really awake.

On the flip side of the coin we have some hilarious and random conversations while he is asleep too.

This past week we have had "Imavinoops, Imavinoops! You've been a really lovely customer!" Can you tell DP works in retail!

He also woke me up in the middle of the night tapping my shoulder. "Babe, babe wake up, wake up" Then he sat up in bed and said "We have to go get the thing... the the thing... you know" Then he lay down and was asleep again leaving me lying there like... wtf?!

Caro12345 · 08/01/2017 21:33

I've had those weird conversations too, quite enjoyed them too. It's the hitting out that's getting to me....thought R.E.M. Sleep was meant to paralyse a person.....

Gooseygoosey12345 · 08/01/2017 22:54

Caro, some people don't have enough of that hormone, that's why you get sleep walkers. My dad used to fight people in his sleep every Friday night. My poor mother used to get kicked, no doubts she kicked him back harder though

1mouse2 · 08/01/2017 23:11

dd1 has asthma, once when her chest badI turned to her said" at least it didn't get worse during the night."

She just looked at me, apparently she'd had an attack in the early hours, come in to tell me and I'd sat up in bed, looked at her and told her to fuck off and go back to bed! I had no recollection of this and was absolutely mortified. Thankfully dd1 at 12 found it quite amusing afterwards but I was worried at the time that she went back to bed.

It's not the first time I've done something like this, I've hit people in the past when they've tried to wake me from a deep sleep, so we've agreed in the future that she should ignore what I say and keep talking till I fully wake up

Caro12345 · 08/01/2017 23:19

He was so horrified when he saw the black eye, that I really feel guilty telling him what he has been doing at night. It's not personal, I've hardly ever heard him raise his voice in RL, and I don't know what to do about it. I certainly sleep in a state of alertness these days, bit like a wild animal ready to respond to danger, but not a restful way to sleep. I preferred it when it was just snoring!

Caro12345 · 08/01/2017 23:29

Sounds wise, Mouse, I am trying hard not to take this to heart and not to be accusatory!

Flip

1 2