Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

another: 2 men which do i choose or none?

15 replies

holstenlips · 13/10/2011 20:39

i am a LP, 2 kids. i have been dating Mr A since August but he is usually unavailable so have only seen him a handful of times. But we have had sex(!) I have been trying to take it further but he is all talk (i miss you etc etc) but not making any effort to meet up etc.
Mr B has come on the scene,he is an old friend and it feels like he is actively pursuing me..he's lovely, everything about him BUT not sure i fancy him and his family think im beneath him(I think). We havent had even a kiss. Is the best idea to shelve both options? BTW i am lonely and craving any company. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
buzzskeleton · 13/10/2011 21:00

Mr A isn't that into you. Knock it on the head.

You don't fancy Mr B. Or do you? It might just be good to have some fun with him, and if there's no chemistry, shout 'next'! Smile His family would be a problem, but it's such early days, why not just have a laugh with him and no intentions?

I'd be looking for a Mr C D XYZ Grin. Have fun, relax, don't think relationship too soon, think socialising, maybe getting some Wink.

diggingintheribs · 13/10/2011 21:04

If you need to ask it means neither!

stayforappledunking · 13/10/2011 21:05

MR A - Mr who? Look gone.

Mr B - You dont fancy him yet. You havent even had a kiss. Maybe you will, maybe you wont. Why not test drive! And if not, then I agree, check out the rest of the alphabet ;)

Original poster
holstenlips · 13/10/2011 21:05

thank you! getting some would be good. Mr A is doing my head in defo. But i really fancy him! He reels me in and then buggers off. Mr B is very 'keen' I sometimes fancy him but its not ripping clothes off level. His mum is already trying to put him off me as ' I have commitment issues' (2 kids with 2 exes) I think i need to talk to Mr B and say ok lets just have some fun and see...at the moment i dont feel like any more commitment than that with him. Its maybe me being insensitive but his wife died tragically and i am so scared of hurting him...

OP posts:
Conundrumish · 13/10/2011 21:12

How do you know his mum is trying to put him off you?

Original poster
holstenlips · 13/10/2011 21:15

i met her with Mr B last week, we havent seen each other for 20 years, she was pleasant to me but was asking questions re my kids/exes and then Mr B told me after that she had thought maybe i had commitment issues-he was pissed off about it. They are very 'posh' and im not!!

OP posts:
Original poster
holstenlips · 13/10/2011 21:17

to be fair to her, she is his mum and prob worried about him as his wife died suddenly a few years ago and he has only just come out the other side.

OP posts:
izzywhizzysfritenite · 13/10/2011 21:28

Dump Mr A - he's a lost cause and will only cause you heartache.

It doesn't matter what Mr B's mum thinks of you - you won't be screwing her, will you? And if it ever gets to a point where you need to screw her, it'll be when she becomes your MIL by which time you'll most probably have sorted her out.

Given your history, I also suggest you keep your options open and work your way through the alphabet before selecting No.3

Hassled · 13/10/2011 21:31

Mr B sounds nice but the fact you're even asking makes me think you should hold fire until you meet Mr C.
But Mr A sounds like a lost cause. Move on, while you still have some dignity.

Original poster
holstenlips · 13/10/2011 21:40

thanks...Mr A has text me 7 times tonight saying 'i miss you' 'kisses'etc - i think he has a girlfriend... Mr B has text me once to see how i am.He is a very very good person, very good company. But im hesitant. So, yes, maybe leave all well alone.

OP posts:
buzzskeleton · 13/10/2011 21:52

It sounds a bit mad if Mr B's mum is beefing about you being a commitment-phobe, when you're not even properly seeing each other. What happend to date for a while, maybe it turns into something, maybe it doesn't? What's going on with this pressure to leap into deep and meaningful relationship you need to commit to Confused?

If he's only just started seeing people after his wife's death, then he'd be best just going out for fun, himself.

Mr A sounds a complete tosspot. Fuck him off. Grin

Original poster
holstenlips · 13/10/2011 22:02

haha! you're funny buzz. Yes , i dont really get the 'deep and meaningful' thing with Mr B...all we have done is shared lunch..

OP posts:
MMMarmite · 14/10/2011 19:22

As long as Mr B is happy to date casually then I think that's the way forward. Hard to know if there's chemistry if you haven't kissed him yet... so why not find out ;)

Mr A sounds like a pain, all talk and no substance. He maybe just seems attractive because he's playing hard to get, he'd probably get annoying if you spent more time with him. I'd get rid of him.

Original poster
holstenlips · 14/10/2011 21:09

thanks mmmarmite, Mr A is being verrrry hard to get yes, the only problem is i am in lust with him! But perhaps that will come in time with Mr B...or Mr C,D,E etc. Mr B seems very 'keen' not in a stalkerish way, seems quite genuine and enjoys my company etc. Sometimes i think this dating stuff is too much like hard work tho!

OP posts:
Geordieminx · 14/10/2011 21:42

mr A will only cause you pain. If you allow yourself to be a doormat then he will walk all over you. sorry.(((speaks from bother experience))

Give yourself some time with Mr B... Maybe it will be right, maybe it won't, but unless you give him a try you will never know.... And hopefully ther will be a Mr C by then Wink

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread