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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Silent coming... Question.

35 replies

blondegirl1979 · 11/10/2011 21:14

Ok, i have a question. Will start by saying i never dreamed i would be on here asking an actual question like this, but here goes: anyway at the weekend i slept with a new bloke that i have been seeing, it is fair to say that i have slept with enough men to make me fairly experienced in most things, without going into too much detail, basically this bloke did not give any indication that he was going to come, made no sounds during, and then did come and i only knew cos he told me a couple of minutes later when he sussed that i hadnt come.has anyone else had this, cos i certainly havent,even the quietest of men makes some kind of noise..or just something... It just seemed weird, i mentioned it, casually cos i didnt want to make it a huge issue, about the fact that i had no idea what jad been going on in his head/what he had or hadnt liked etc and he seemed to think that it was funny that i mentioned it.
So, any thoughts greatfully recieved really.... Oh this is a totally genuine post, i know there have been a few dubious ones in the last few days.

OP posts:
ScarlettIsWalking · 14/10/2011 10:19

I love it when guys make a big fuss when they are coming Grin

It shows they are so, well much more into it...

blondegirl1979 · 14/10/2011 10:27

Bertie: I didnt mean that I wanted porn star noise or anything !!! Its just that previously I have been used to heavy breathing, maybe a bit of moaning, sometimes the odd "im going to come", even 1 bloke who seemed to kind of tap me on the side 3 times just before he came...

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 14/10/2011 10:34

No but that's what I mean - with DP and other bloke who was good, you would never be able to tell! And they did definitely come, because we were using condoms so I saw the evidence Grin

Think I worked out the extra sweating thing after a few months.

Lifeissweet · 14/10/2011 10:43

Bertie - I didn't read Kuna's 'joke' as a rape joke. I thought it was more of crafty wank gag. Not funny, either, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

My DP is not noisy, but lets me know what he likes and when it feels good - sometimes by just simply saying: 'that..feels..amazing' which is nice Smile.

At the big moment, he usually utters an 'Oh..my...God' which is good, too. I like that he vocally enjoys himself. Tis good for my ego. However, he does get a small fit of the giggles after he comes, which is a bit creepy and weird.

I wouldn't be happy with silence. I'd feel like I was doing something wrong.

ScarahStratton · 14/10/2011 10:48

I've slept with a Growler. That was interesting. Total silence, then 'grrrrrrrrrrrarrgh' right in my ear. [hhmm]

bottlebank · 14/10/2011 10:55

I used to be silent but after having an excellent shag with someone who seemed very concerned I'd been so silent I've made an effort to communicate my enjoyment in one way or another, though I'm still quiet.

I have dated someone who was TOTALLY SILENT until he would say "if you keep doing that I'm going to come", which was very disconcerting because I'd worry he was asking me not to, and wasn't sure what 'that' was - he wasn't great at communicating his desires generally; our relationship didn't last long!

TechnoViking · 14/10/2011 12:22

I used to be quiet, until I found out that my ex (then girlfriend) was taking the piss out of me to all of our friends.

Malificence · 14/10/2011 12:36

I'm surprised none of you have said that you know when partners get there because you can feel it, I can always feel the pulsations when I'm on top and it often sets me off again, not so much when DH is behind me, must be the angle , but even if he didn't make a sound when coming, I'd still know.
DH is a bit of a growler too, if he was silent I'd think it wasn't that great for him tbh. I like a bit of enthusiastic participation, being a bit vocal myself. Wink

brianmayshair · 14/10/2011 12:40

Is it possible he was trying really hard not to so as to allow you to finish first but didn't manage? DH has to concentrate really hard not to sometimes if has been ahem overstimulated, which makes him seem like a dead fish, perhaps this was the case?

blondegirl1979 · 14/10/2011 14:31

Malificence, I did have a pulser before actually, yeah that was odd - but in a good way, yes he was quite expressive with his actions, although not verbally, but at least with him I knew that he was enjoying what we were doing and I tend to associate the silence with non-enjoyment although the end result showed that that wasnt the case with Mr Silent. Am intregued to see what happens next time, specially as I mentioned it to him...

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