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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Sex issue

11 replies

CJ2010 · 09/10/2011 21:15

Hi all - I have to first state that I do not think that DP and I have any issues in the bedroom but DP is fretting and I want to help him and seek advice from you knowledgable people!

When we make love, DP thinks he comes far too quickly and wants to know how he can last longer. I have reassured him that I am completely satisfied but he wants to be able to last longer and he is feeling pretty crap about it. It is playing on his mind and this will only make things worse. He had said he will seek advice from the doctor but I've told him that I will ask you lot first and see what you suggest!

TIA.

OP posts:
oldqueenie · 09/10/2011 21:18

how quickly is "far too quickly"?

kunahero · 09/10/2011 21:22

Hi, You can get special condoms with mild numbing agent in them to help you last longer.
Personally I try to think of exdw when i'm reaching the point of no return and that brings me right back to be able to last for a while longer.
though if you are satisfied then you just need to keep reassuring dp that there isnt a problem. Its my golden rule in the bedroom that dw comes first ..... literally.

Marne · 09/10/2011 21:24

Shock at thinking of exdw, you should only be thinking of one person when your having sex and thats the one you are having sex with Smile.

kunahero · 09/10/2011 21:27

If i concentrate on the dw then I would also finish toooo fast so I use a technique I read in a book to think of something revolting and that delays the moment and keeps me going for longer.
Using this technique i can keep going till dw falls aslepp or at tleast til match of the day finishes ;)

oldqueenie · 09/10/2011 21:34

you sound lovely! Hmm

BertieBotts · 09/10/2011 21:36

Do try the performance condoms.

Also, men can learn to control ejaculation, something to do with playing with themselves until almost there, then stopping. Repeat again several hours later, and again, and again, eventually you learn to control it (or something)

Also tell him that women don't normally actually like "marathon sex". It tends to be uncomfortable if it goes on too long anyway. If you're happy with how long he lasts and aren't left with a feeling of "Oh, I could have carried on there." then it's probably fine, tell him to stop worrying about his ego Grin

BertieBotts · 09/10/2011 21:37

Glad I'm not married to you kunahero. Nothing worse than the thought of someone banging away trying desperately to think of something else! I'd rather have a 30 second wonder!

Marne · 09/10/2011 21:38

Kunahero- are you my dh?? Grin (joke, i do hope my dh doesn't think of his exdw, but i may mention her name in future when he's feeling horny).

kunahero · 09/10/2011 21:56

Bertie,
The technique I use is similar to the one you mentioned. It works well as I was a 'gold medalist' in the bedroom ( I always came first) But since learning that the mind is the most powerful sexual organ we have then by controlling the mind we can control the dangly bits!
As i said for me it is far more important that my dw is satisfied first, my satisfaction is in knowing she enjoyed 'dtd'

BertieBotts · 09/10/2011 22:14

Not quite the same. But sure we can agree to disagree :)

SimpleDad · 10/10/2011 12:49

Simple - alcohol!! :)

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