Getting rid of a crush

[katenonotreally]

Hello,

I've not really posted here before. It's kind of awkward really.

I am very happily married, but I have a massive crush on one of my friends from work. It's sort of developed over the last few weeks. We have all been at risk of redundancy and it has brought those few of us that will probably remain much much closer. The two of us have become very close friends, as I have with a few of the others. He is also massively hot, but also gay - I am married. I wouldn't even be mentioning this, other than the fact that I am very drunk. He is so lovely and we like each other (I think). But a really lovely friendship is developing and I wish I didn't fancy him so much as well as liking him. Very awkward and embarrassing.

How do I switch it off? It's sort of embarrassing! No-one knows apart from the people reading this. He's so lovely.

I wouldn't even be writing this, but it's late, it's Friday and I'm drunk,

Ta. xxx

If he's gay, your infatuation is not going to go very far is it? Unless, of course, he's bi or not averse to occasion sexual liaisons with the opposite sex.

Can you not celebrate what he is, a perfect physical specimen of the male of the species - a perfect piece of art like the statue of David - without wanting to jump on his perfectly formed bones?

Presumably this guy has been among your colleagues for some time but you hadn't especially noticed his 'qualities' before? It seems that the stress of possible redundancy, and maybe seeing other colleagues lose their jobs, has formed a bond between a few of you and that, given time, your new found friendship(s) won't be quite so intense.

In the meantime look and fantasise all you want, but don't touch because you know he's not for you and you've got far to much to lose, including your self-respect, if you make a fool of yourself over him.

All things must pass including this unexpected crush you've developed. Be thankful for the reminder that your juices are still flowing and pay extra attention to your dh over this weekend.

Katenotreally - I'm struggling, like you, (see Mutual Attraction thread) but I recognise that the attraction/crush is a symptom of what is wrong in my own marriage. If that was okay I would not be aware of the other guy. The fact that your crush is one a gay guy would seem to indicate that you 'know' he is unobtainable but that will only add to the feeling. Ask yourself how would you feel if the situation was reversed, if your H was fantasising about another female. Of course, I once read that gay guy can be a girls best friend.

O gosh, yes they certainly can SG. I don't know where I'd be without my gay male friends - I certainly wouldn't be as well-dressed (on the occasions when I leave my usual levis and western boots behind) and I'd not have as much wit and warmth and humour in my life as I currently enjoy.