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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Words of wisdom? Got to have the talk tomorrow...

3 replies

dizzykizzy · 07/10/2011 22:06

I have an opportunity to spend a few hours alone with my H tomorrow. The conversation I had with him today confirmed my fears that he won't do anything to help so I am going to tell him that I've had enough and want to separate.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom that might help me get through it with grace and dignity.

OP posts:
ShowerGel · 07/10/2011 22:18

To maintain grace and dignity: don't cry or scream.
Think/hum Gloria Gaynor 'I will survive'.
Then when on your own, you can collapse in a heap, swear into cushions and stamp your feet.

HarrietSchulenberg · 07/10/2011 22:20

Oh gosh, I agree with ShowerGel about not screaming, or shouting. Crying is OK though and you probably won't be able to help it.
You might just find the shock of it makes him change his ways. Perhaps.

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy · 07/10/2011 22:32

Grace under pressure? Keep your voice well-modulated and your tone reasonable.

Resist any temptation to allow your inner fishwife to emerge by resolving to tell h how you feel/how it's going to be without using the words 'sorry' and 'but'.

These two words are so over-used that you'll find that you need to concentrate on what you're saying and slow your speech down while you search for alternatives - this gives the listener the impression that you are thinking about what they are saying while carefully considering your responses/choice of words.

I've fooled many into believing that I'm a very reasonable soul by excluding 'sorry' and 'but' from my conversations with others and, in general, I avoid the use of the word 'sorry' except where someone has died.

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