Hi.
I have posted before about P. He has periods of being extremely moody & negative, exacerbated by continual weed smoking & daily drinking.
A few months ago, I posted for advice on what to do, and received some great advice along the lines of giving him a timed ultimatum. This I did, and during that time we have also been seeing a Relate counsellor.
However, 4/5 months on, he was still smoking weed (despite many, many promises to stop), and worse, he has lied to me about it on several occasions.
He is/was also still drinking moderately heavily most if not every day of the week.
Last week, our Relate counsellor said she was unable to continue counselling as it is apparent that P has addiction issues getting in the way of the relationship.
The final straw for me was last week, when I was on the receiving end of one of his extreme mood swings. He was thoroughly nasty (verbally) towards me with no warning whatsoever, then locked himself in another room for the entire evening refusing to speak to me...then emerged the next day without any apology or even acknowledgement of the night before.
So...we have now separated. Predictably though, he is now saying that he is going to tackle addiction problems, see the GP etc etc. He's 'turning over a new leaf' blah, blah, blah.
When I look at it in black & white, I know I have done the 'right thing'..but why do I feel so damn wretched? I'm scared, shocked, worried, lonely and sad...especially so as we have a 2.5 yr old daughter together.
I have no family near by, my Mum has passed away & my only geographically close sibling is an alcoholic. I do have some good friends, but a lot of these are mutual. I feel as though I am putting on a brave face for the world, but inside I am crumbling.
I don't know what I'm asking for really, but thanks for reading if you got this far X