Difficult day

[hopey]

Today was DD 2nd birthday, the first since her ex-dp walked out. Had a party for her and decided that both sides of her family should be there, although ex-dp girlfriend wasn't invited due to her part in him walking out. Have played the perfect hostess, but now everyone has gone, DD has gone to ex-dp house for the night as I have to go to work and I feel really low and v lonely. Ex-dp mother has been really nice, too nice, saying I'm like a second daughter. I wish in a way I didn't have to see any of them again as its so hard. I tell myself I won't be on my own forever, but at the moment I can't see it getting any better.

Sorry, not her ex-dp, but mine walking out. Makes it sound like she's starting young.

You won't be on your own forever, hopey.

I always feel numb when the house is empty after a big day like that. Only thing I can advise is to pop out to the shop and get some little treat (for me it would be any take-away dinner and a can of pop) and have a good relaxing evening. Or phone a friend and go out for a drink. You will feel better.

And well done for facing him and his family socially so soon by the way - hope the relationships stay good.

I brought up my dds alone from age 4 and 1 for five years. I found it helped to focus on the positive aspects - I could do everything my way without reference to anyone else. I could do whatever I liked at weekends, take them off somewhere in the car, invite people round, play with the kids in the garden or whatever. We could eat finger food at every meal. When they were at their dad's I could go out as and when I wanted, play loud music at night and fart in bed.

Hopey, I soooooo know how you feel it was exactly the same set of circumstances for me at ds1's 3rd party this year. WELL DONE it is terribly hard but honestly it truly gets easier. I tend to favour the scenerio recommended by others. When I know the children are off to their dads for a night or two I plan treat nights just for me! A nice long bath with a glass of my fav drink & candles, followed by a video from the the local shop. I just indulge in the evening for me! It makes me have something to look forward to rather than dread if you follow my drift. So just PLAN PLAN PLAN...nights out or a girlie night in with friends...etc etc. Chin up, time really does make things easier!