I feel so lonely I could cry

[frazzle26]

i have posted about this before but tbh I still feel the same. All I want out of life is to meet a lovely guy who will treat me well and accept my son. All I seem to get are idiots who just want one thing. Ffs, I had one bf who did a runner at 3am after we'd dtd!! Didn't do much for the old self esteem I can tell u.

I was married at the age of 20 for 5 years to a horrible man and tbh it took me a while to get over some of the things he did. I have also had 2 lovely bf's one before husband, one after. I just couldn't see at the time how nice they were. I finished with the last one because I got nervous when he kept going on about wanting to move in together. I guess I should have just said something.

All around me, all my friends are coupled up and I feel so lonely and want that for myself. Not sure what I expect anyone on here to do but just wanted to tell someone :-(

Sorry you're feeling that way, it's not nice!

Have you had any counselling re. the horrible relationship with your DH? It may benefit you, not only to clear your demons but also to make you more "ready" to meet the right man instead of more dodgy ones. If you have an air of damage or vulnerability about you, it makes you an easy target for would-be abusers and general idiots (it's not the only thing that attracts them, mind you!).

best advice i was ever given "you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else"

I always found people seem to come to you when you arent looking, so who knows. But do seek counselling. Lonliness is a sad and ugly monster who can easily cripple your better judgement

I'd really recommend a book called Women Who Love Too Much, by Robin Norwood. Have a look online, it has totally change my own belief that if only I had a man in my life, it would all be prefect.

You have to be happy within yourself before you jump into a relationship. If you are too dependant on a man to make your life happy and worthwhile, you leave yourself open to being clingy, desperate and ultimately used.

I often used to feel like you do now OP when not in a relationship. Having spent time on MN though made me realise that being in a relationship is not the be all and end all.

I've now been single for 10 months - the longest stretch ever and can genuinely say I'm loving the freedom etc of re-discovering what I want, like etc in life.

Strangely as well, its only now in the last month or so I'm really starting to feel like my space is my own and 'unfurling my wings' as it were :)

The poster who mentioned that you first need to love and know yourself is right, by being on your own for a while you will discover yourself and with that will come insight into what you will and won't put up with in any relationship.

And then the twats and losers won't be able to get within a mile of you because your radar will have had time to reset and sharpen itself.