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Can you help me make sense of my reaction?

26 replies

neepsntatties · 02/10/2011 08:05

Background: my dad died suddenly last year and during the process of clearin of his house my sil was angling for certain items from the house. I felt it was innapropriate for her to be asking what was happening to certain items but didn't say anything. Then my db asked for us to sort a collection of patches my dad had won for sport as they meant a lot to him. Myself and 2 other brothers agreed he could have them. Cue big fight where sil rifled through my dad's patches as if she was at a jumble sale, picking out the nicest ones for her family. Her dh, my brother even had to argue that they were going to my other brother. It was horrible and I felt disrespectful of my Dad's memory.

This week my gran died. My mum asked if there was anything I wanted from the house and I mentioned a special clock she had that I am quite attached to and she said I could have it. At the funeral however my sil spoke to both my mum and my aunt about how much db wanted the clock and all of a sudden she was getting it and I was getting a washing machine.

I felt very upset. I suspected db had no real interest in the clock and sure enough later said he didn't care about it. I just felt sil wanted it to decorate her house but it actually means something to me. My mum got all dramatic and said she was stuck in the middle and started talking about me to others in the family making out I was being awful.

Anyway she can have it, my nice association with it has been ruined and I would rather keep the peace but I feel really horrible about it in quite an intense way. Feels a bit of an over reaction and I am not sure why.

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LoveBeingAMummyAgain · 05/10/2011 15:09

Is that why she was trying to put you off. Why do they all want this clock?

I understand about certain things meaning something, when my nan passed away I asked for a pack of her playing cards cause that's a special memory I have of growing up. Btw I also got her dryer (not asked for either) and it is quite nice cause everytime I use it I do think if her.