Why did this happen - wondering what I did wrongly!

[Socci]

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maybe they're kidding about the chocolate?

In my old age (37 ) I'm just beginning to learn to let people get on with their lives and concentrate on me and the kids. I do worry about my close friends and family but try not to let them get to me too much or else I feel drained. I don't have high energy at the best of times. So, all I'm saying is it's maybe not worth the effort if that's the way they are? But only you know them and the whole situation.

ulyesses - that's JUST how I feel too - the benefits of old age
when things get difficult I just adopt this expression:

and save your energy for people who need/deserve/warrant it...

If you feel you can move on past it without saying anything then maybe don't. I probably still would, maybe affecting concern about their health/wellbeing. Maybe there is something wrong?

On second/third thoughts sod 'em! If you can put it behind you then do and enjoy Xmas. Let them be the ones to say something.....

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socci-my inlaws or outlaws as we call them are just the same.

We used to have a BBQ every summer but stopped because SIL would ring DH and say "Are her lot going to be there?" and then be rude to my family on the day.

None of them come up to see us FIL has been once this year and when we take kids down there demand to know how many times my parents see the grandchildren
They also expect us to drop everything if its something they want/need- they are genuinly horrible people-it used to upset me but i just laugh at them now

As I said before, they're pathetic and childish. Like you say, it's their loss. I've really no time for ILs who act in this way (and I know what it's like, I have ones that throw tantrums if they don't like something!)

Oh well, socci - don't invite them again, the silly bleeders.

What do they expect? I just can't believe the childish tantrums some of you have to put up with from the adults in your families. I sympathise with you all and will treasure my very reasonable ILs all the more!

Oh well Socci, at least your DH tried. What happens though is you move on and stop feeling that you must accommodate them etc, as we often do with relatives esp the older ones. But when it comes to them wanting you to do something or to be involved then you just stop considering them in your plans. And its all their own fault. If you keep trying to make things good in the situation you'll end up going mad so you do just have to move on, esp as you have other more important things to think about. Put 'em on extinction now!

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