Short version: married for 2nd time, DP2 is an alcoholic and we have had some rocky moments over the last 15 years but we do love each other.
Been at my current workplace for the past 7 years and I have a good circle of colleagues that I can talk/share with. One is a guy (B) with whom I discuss books, films and life in general. This year we met in the photocopy room and ?something? happened ? no words exchanged, no touching ? just a feeling I had. Next time we met (usually attend a meeting about once a month) he couldn?t look at me. The time after that there were smiles and a touch on my arm from him.
Then a mutual colleague gets cancer, is looked after by the wife (also a colleague), and subsequently dies. At the funeral B sees me and kisses me on the forehead. I was taken aback by this but did not have the emotional strength or time to discuss it with him. At the next meeting he gives me an even bigger grin.
A month later (July, and the next scheduled meeting) he comes to my office and as we walk along the corridor I can sense he is quiet so I ask him how he is (thinking it is related to the loss of our colleague) and he tells me that he is splitting from his partner of 21 years. We attend the meeting and then afterwards he comes and tells me that he has re-mortgaged the house to buy her out and that they are sleeping apart. He told her that he doesn?t love her any more and he has a terrible sense of guilt because of the hurt it caused. I ask him if there is a third party involved and he says no.
I have been in shock ever since. DP and I had a humungous row shortly after this event due to DP having an altercation with a relative of mine. I have examined my feelings thoroughly and I know I love DP, for all sorts of reasons, even though he has some terrible drink-fuelled rages ? but I can?t get B out of my head. Given that I will have to continue working alongside B and I am someone who knows what separation and loss are, hence, perhaps his turning to me, I find myself struggling with emotions.