Hi there (regular)
For the 9th or 10th time in our 10 year relationship my p has told me serious lies about money. This time he took out a loan without telling me, defaulted on it, all the while telling me he had fully paid off his other loan, credit was clean and I thought we were in a position to house hunt (but suspcious as he's a lying prick where money is concerned and never, ever showed me letters or payslips etc). I opened his mail and got a nasty surprise.
Have 3 kids and small house, so have been working towards selling to upsize. He has done a few other things, most of which don't make our future rosier such as losing a secure job last year for gross misconduct. The problem is, I do rely on him for childcare (not money - the kids and I will probably not miss his financial contribution at all) and I have a stressful job - he picks up a lot of the household slack when I am working. And he does deserve credit where credit is due. He's a great Dad not just to his own child and ok at the domestic side of things.
I have warned him continually to stop lying about money and I really don't trust a word he says now, but again he let me (and us) down.
I asked him to leave and really don't care, not even angry, just let down (totally dispassionate about it tbh - been a single parent before and can do it again). This lack of emotion does bother me, but in the last month I have suffered a bereavement and both of my parents have become ill. I am far away from them and having to do a lot of travel and am stressed already so maybe not in the best place to deal with this.
I asked him to leave yesterday and he did although he had to come back this morning to look after our preschooler. Not sure what to do when he brings her home from his Mum's?
p.s. I assume he went to a friend's - I am dreading his parents finding out as they will undoubtedly plead with me. He was in a dead end job before I met him and there's a good chance it's us who've made him become more responsible and, for his parents, someone else's responsibility. He is in his 40's btw and in the past has had mh issues but before I met him (prob linked to cannabis is my guess) which also makes me worry about whether he would do something stupid.