Separated..working abroad...hes still living in my house..

[icemaidensu]

...and im paying the the mortgage...
Im new, been lurking for months,...not ready to tell my whole story yet, but this is the situation today....
Have been asking for weeks for dh to give spare keys to bestfriend so i can have bathroom sorted so i can rent out the property... I still have lots of things there too that i have to sort and i have a month Off work in november to do this. But i really need him and all his things out before i get back....bit More info... 2 months ago when he visited me i was ready and wanted to try again....he said he did too....but 24hrs after he returned to uk He changed his mind! Anyway, i was mortified,so hurt, that the hours and hours that we re lived our marriage, and laughed at all the good times, and the bad ones of course!!!....anyway... Back to today....
He took the keys to my bf ...she happened to be there and asked him in for a cuppa...(and also wanted to get his Take on things on my behalf!)

so now it seems he dosnt want to leave the house even though its mine... ( i have had my mortgage for 22years, we have been together for 10 years) because he wants to get "something" out of the marriage!!!!

WTF????

I still love him, and really dont want things to get crappy...at the mo its ok...but, really??? What do you think
???

I would as a lawyer what your position is...

he may refuse moving out and I am not sure if you can force him quickly ot

Yes, i know, should go to a lawyer...but like i șay am abroad for another 6 weeks...
We have been separated for nearly 4 years now...and although i was the one who left him...due to work mainly...but also because the cracks were showing in our relationship, he is still living there. Like i said, i was ready to try again...he knocked me back( and i have since found out he has hi mself a girlfriend)...

He said to my bf that he didnt want to leavethe house because he wanted to get something out of it!!! This is NOT him talking...he has been told by someone to stay there and not go....im sure of this....

He can have a notice of home rights in his favour attached to the house. And as you are married he will have some claim to sine of the equity. But you can have him evicted as you own it. See a lawyer.

All of above based on recent legal advice - I've been in the same situation except he stayed for two years.

It would best to get legal advice asap - arrange to call a solicitor even if you out of the country. If you and him are married then he will have a claim to equity in the house. He may have taken legal advice so it's best to be aware of yours and his rights.

Sorry to be so blunt here and like you said there is probably much more to the story but based on what you have written the only thing anyone can tell you is it's time to get legal. He's even told you he has a new girlfriend now and wants to get something (obviously financial) from the situation.

Get a lawyer!

You are marrried. You can't kick him out without legal assistance. No such thing as 'yours' once you are married - you are a legal partnership.

Get a good lawyer, gather loads of evidence that shows that you had owned the house before you married, how you have paid the mortgage since, evidence of lack of contributions by him to the mortgage since you separated, any evidence you have that you have been separated and living apart.

AFAIK you do not even have the right to change the locks.

You need a lawyer and you need to start divorce proceedings asap.

Have you any evidence of the girlfriend? You need a quick divorce.

Thanks for replys...i realise now its going to have to get "legal"..... Was hoping it not too but i fear it is going to get a bit messy.

What i dont get is why does he think he should get something out of it.... What do i get out of it??? Ok, he, hasnt got a bean to his name...actually he has a very healthy overdraft!!! He is living rent free in my house...and as far as i hear, is basicly using it as a cu board as he is apparently spending alot of time with new gf!!

You need to start divorce as fast as possible, and before he racks up any more debts.

Look - you are married. You agreed to share all your worldly goods with him as a legal contract. As such, you could also be jointly liable for his overdraft!

Can you show that this overdraft was since you separated?

Do you have children?

NO children(thats another story!!) but in hindsight under the circumstances now its lucky we dont as that would complicate things even More!!!

I realise i am going to have to bail him out of that overdraft, and that is whats starting to piss me Off a bit!!! He spends nearly every evening in the pub...eats out probably 3/4 times a week ( i know this as i do online banking...and he ALWAYS uses a card!) he has basicly got 5000 overdraft limit...and he spends until he gets to that limit!!
Thanks for listening....

What i dont get is why does he think he should get something out of it....

That's what tends to happen when people get divorced, the richer party pays to the poorer party.

Yes...needinghelp,....that is how my/our situation is!!!!

My Dream conclusion would be this:
He moves out before i get Home in november
I sort all my stuff out, do a few Home improvements( well overdue, he said he would do it...i even offered to pay....that we 2years ago!!) and then rent the place out so at least mortgage is being covered
Then, i hold out for the " abandonment" !!

Like i said... Thats the Dream...i fear the reality is going to turn out somewhat differently!!!

Get a lawyer onto it as soon as possible. It will take time, and cost, but the sooner you start the better. You could send him a bill for rent, just to try to get the message across that you aren't giving him the property.

Thats what bf said to me yesterday mummytime!!
I really dont have a bottomless pit of Money, and dont want to ask parents(again....they helped us in the past and now i have a nice job i enjoy and have basicly got myself back on track and paid them back) he hasnt...he is still in the pub daily, ....i gave that up to get myself sorted!!!
Its starting to feel very unfair :(

Ok, am back in uk now...plenty to update... If anyones interested! Will sleep on it tonight... And then..?...well...would like some opinions about the situation, need to know if im being unreasonable or not!!

I'm interested...have you seen a lawyer yet?

Waiting....

Taps her fingers waiting for the update....