Do abusive men only see women in one of two ways?

[helcarmar]

Something got me thinking about this today, But an emotionally abusive (who wasn't above threatening physical violence without actually hitting me) ex-boyfriend seemed only able to view women in one of two ways:
a, Goddesses
b, Inferior beings

He'd either dismiss them (using a variety of choice swear words) or put them on pedestals. In fact, he could only get really aroused by thinking of women as mistresses.

Not thread hitting and running but got to go out to work soon. Interested in any thoughts about this. My interest is now 'academic' as thank god I'm out of it and I am in a position to be coolly reflecting on this as opposed to being in the thick of it, nevertheless, I've no objections to people using this as a support thread for those struggling with such a man. Thanks in advance for any replies.

My abusive ex worships his mother, will do anything for her and spends obscene amounts of money on her. He always gave great thought to gifts and cards he gave her while I got 'whatever'. She is a battle axe! Excessively controlling, self obsessed, has an opinion on everything which of course is right, she is always right. Makes me sick just thinking about it.

Around his mother my ex was submissive, quietly spoken, quite pathetic. He didn't know how to say no to her. Emotional incest springs to mind. He, at the age of 45 is still firmly attached to his mother by an invisible umbilical cord. He puts her above everyone, including his own DD.

Where women in general are concerned he has no respect for them, thinks they are incapable, resents their intelligence, he seems to despise them as human beings but enjoys seeing them as sexual objects, he will leer at women as though he has a god given right. He felt entitled to treat me like dirt while we were together. On occasions he had sex with me while I was asleep and showed no emotion whatsoever at my distress.

I always felt he carried some resentment/hatred towards his mother, that he did what he did out of duty towards her rather than love but he made me suffer for it. I took her punishment. That was just my theory though, I could well be wrong but I do know one thing, he will never change.

turquoise I wish you luck and godspeed in getting rid of the fucker that is your husband

I was very much the inferior being and now have a touch of the runaway slave. Passionsrunhigh, you're definitely onto something as that describes my exMIL to a tee. So glad she's not in my life anymore, one of the unexpected bonuses of leaving my ex.

Oh and I was never seen as a goddess but was forced to 'entertain' his creepy BDSM tendencies .

Thanks for replies.

You know passionsrunhigh, really struck a chord. My ex's mother was really efficient at certain things and quite the achiever, yet cold and distant (think she had/has really low empathy values. Not selfish as such as her Catholic faith had conditioned her into helping others, but zero understanding of how others feel all the same).
Sometimes I feel that it is better to be selfish yet understand instinctively how others feel and think, than a workaholic who tries to help others but really hasn't got a **ing clue as to how to do so properly.