Household Chores

[mumtofour]

ok ladies I need some honest answers here to help me put perspective on things in my life. I have been married for 19 years and have four children (8,15,15 & 17). Dh has always worked full time and I was stop at home mum till last few years and now have two part-time jobs. I feel totally responsible for the children, the home and organizing of holidays, family times etc. Dh does load dishwasher occasionally, cut the lawns and iron his work shirts. Apart from that all chores are done by me and I am struggling to juggle everything. Sadly our communication is far from perfect and if I ever express any worries about workload or kids etc it ends in a fallout, my Dh telling me he knew I wanted to fall out, saying I am never positive and that it's my fault I am down. Just can't imagine I expecting too much for more support? He will do anything for anyone but doesn't seem to see or be able to talk to me about anything I need, when we fall out we can ignore each other for days..its so childish! Am concerned that all this has caused a huge wedge between us that we just keep coming back to the same negative place..I find it almost impossible to show him love as feel so unimportant. I am worn out and lack motivation for anything for myself so feel lost and isolated. Any advice welcomed...thanks

with four dc of those ages you shouldnt be doing any house work at all! My 3 yr old helps with the house work.
In our house we have certain jobs that we like to do and the others are shared 50/50, i.e i do it this week, dw does it next.
Works for us. 10 years and still harmonious.

It sounds more than just concerns about chores? How about a letter to him? as emotion free as possible just stating how you feel and asking if you can devise a plan as a family to divide things more fairly?

Thanks for replies....have tried job schedules for everyone but even that ended up my job to sort so as soon as a week came where I didn't have time it all then got forgot again. It just seems accepted and ok that I do it all! Think sadly lots of resentment has tagged in and that with lack of communication means there is a huge divide between me and Dh. Have written to him before and he says things will change but they soon back to non communication and jobs only done if I ask him too!

Full strike.. seriously.. just do stuff for you and 8 yr old. No argument, no nothing just do it, and if you can afford to have a mini break do that too

You are not everyone's skivy x

Did you read the thread where some men just see their wives as being somewhere between their servant and a domestic appliance?