how long until the sadness, dreams etc start to fade post break-up

[takingbackmonday]

I used to post under different names (mostly chubsasaurus) and received a lot of support when I broke up with DP of 2-3 years in June-July and had to move out of the house.

It hasn't really gotten easier. I still cry in the shower because there's nothing there to distract me. I dream about him most nights. He hates me and the back story is long and boring but I know there is no way back. I miss him horribly despite the huge personality flaws. I just want to know when this starts to hurt less. I've started antidepressants and have done usual things - haircut, holidays, shopping etc. I start PhD next week and am finding concentrating on anything so difficult. I just want a non-Xdp shaped light at the end of this.

you said in your OP that he hates you now. why do you say that? yet he texts you and wants you to call him? what's that about?

he knows you were devestated by the end of your relationship - a decent and understanding man would stay away from you and let you grieve and heal before attempting any 'friendship'. he isnt doing this. why not?

Since writing the OP I spoke to him via text and he says he doesnt hate me which was a huge surprise. I don't know why he wnats to speak to me, I'm hoping because he misses me and realises he shouldn;t have left but i think i'm deluding myself

Agree - don't see him. If he's that keen, he'll try again later. By which time you'll have met someone else. Someone who appreciates the glowing inner beauty of a woman who uses the phrase 'bat-shit mental'. Oh, yes.