Hi, I've never posted before and feel really nervous in doing so but need to know that it's not me who's going mad. Have been married for 12 years and have to children (9 and 7). To the outside world, my husband is a kind, loving, helpful man. He's 7 years younger than me and moved directly from living at home with his family to living with me. I moved out of home at 18 and lived in the UK and abroad by myself for 10 years before meeting home. My husband has a really high-pressured job and works leaves home at 7.30 and gets home at 7.30pm. I work part-time as a teacher. However, he does nothing to help at home, doesn't load the dishwasher, hoover, cook or anything. THe children have usually had a bath/shower by the time he comes home from work and it's always like that. Two days after having my 2nd child by caesarean, his boss wanted him to go into work and wondered why I was upset when I said it wasn't possible. It's really getting me down as I feel totally exhausted. My parents take the children to school 2 days a week and are coming round to my house now at 7.30am instead of me dropping them off so it's not so much of a rush. Even when he works from home, he never says that he can take them to school unless I ask him. He says that I don't understand the pressure he's under although I do. However, I'm also under pressure too. I feel that I've distanced myself from him and don't want him to come anywhere near me. When we have arguments, he blames everything on me. I've suggested Related but he refuses and says "it's all my fault, I don't know how to communicate with people." He lashes out verbally and then tells me to forget it, he was tired but I can't. I'm not sure what I want anyone to reply, just that it's not all my fault, I suppose.