Poll: wait it out or offer olive branch?

[DecapitatedLegoman]

DH was totally unreasonable last night. I won't go into boring details, he just was. He's due me an apology. We're not speaking really, but I get fed up with the effort involved. However I would like an unprompted apology on this occasion. Should I instigate peace talks or just grit my teeth and wait ...?

I opted for flouncing to bed. I don't think I've ever held out like this before now. I wonder how long it'll take? But I don't see why it should always be me who tries to smooth things over. Especially as on this occasion it is him alone who has acted like a twat.

Did you remember to clean you gritted teeth before you flounced into bed?

If I believe that I'm in the right, I won't be the first to back down in Mexican stand-off. If this is the first time you've tried waiting for him to make the first move I suggest that, having got this far, you may as well wait it out to see how long it takes him to initiate peace tallks - if only for future reference.

Hmm, cooked breakfast and a lie in ... but no "sorry" ... reckon he can do better!

if he's anything like my partner id nip up with the olive branch or id be waiting years for an apology.

Point taken but it would be a happier marriage if he learned to apologise for shit behaviour. I said to him when it happened that I hate how he's never able to do the right thing and apologise when he's in the wrong. It makes me really mad, like he thinks he's above apologising to me, and while it may seem petty it really is undermining when someone refuses to express any remorse for something which is clearly wrong.

If your usual default setting is to appease and smooth over and you're really narked at his behaviour then by all means wait it out for a bit.

I think the breakfast and lie-in was an apology and you'll be a long time waiting for actual words.

I'm dying to know what he did....

I want words though!

What he did was this: I wasn't working on Friday but between two nursery runs, a week worth of housework, a baby to look after, guests for lunch, library books to return and a regular play session/class to take DS to I was bloody busy. I found time to make a big pot of soup for our lunch guests. DH texted me when he'd arrived at work to say it looked like it would be a bad day and he hoped there would be X for dinner. I didn't have time to reply.

When he got in from work (20 minutes after I'd got in) he asked what was for tea. I said "well there's a pot of soup there ..." and he said "what about X?". When I explained that I'd had a really busy day he said "I texted you at 9 o'clock this morning!". I was a bit WTF to be honest, am I a personal fucking chef now?! So we had a row. IANBU. Fact.

Hmm. Yes you need words - of a grovelly nature. And dinner. Maybe he could make you what he was craving

"he hoped there would be X for dinner" Well there wasn't. And it's not like you'd said there would be.

Yes, I would hold out for a spoken apology. Especially if you usually smooth things over. It is his turn.

Things are less terse but I am still huffing. I just hope he's noticed