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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do i get over this

4 replies

fedupwelshmum · 22/09/2011 10:59

My DP of 2 years has two weeks ago ended our relationship without any warning. Im absolutely devastated we had been trying for a baby for the last 8 months and I thought we were fine. We had our ups and downs but nothing unusual. I have been through such a lot with him and supported him he has an incurable back condition which could leave him in a wheelchair and I have always accepted my future could have been so hard but i loved him so much it didnt matter. He has quit two jobs in the two years and I have supported him through that i have two DDs from my previous relationship so it wasnt just me and him. Im trying to think of the bad parts of our relationship to make me feel better, the fact we couldnt have sex because of his back and him being diabetic meant problems in that department too. I just dont feel like I can get over this i miss him so much but he just doesnt seem to care im so scared of being lonely. I have done so well for myself in the last 5 years i have my gorgeous girls and my own house and a good job but i just doesnt feel enough. I wake up every day feeling sick and generally so low i cant pull myself out of it.

OP posts:
KrispyCakeHead · 22/09/2011 11:02

It is very very early days Fedup. I can't do justice to your post right now (at work) but you WILL feel better.. that sick feeling in the morning will not last forever and you will get over this, albeit slowly no doubt, I promise

Bogeyface · 22/09/2011 11:47

Think about it like this. The man is clearly a quitter and better now than in a year or two when you have a small baby to support too.

He has quit 2 jobs and now has left you, he doesnt strike me as the sort that would stick around when things got a little tough after the baby was born.

He has done you a favour and I hope that soon you will realise that.

In the meantime, go easy on yourself and be kind to yourself and eventually the hurt will ease.

fedupwelshmum · 22/09/2011 11:52

Thank you i know deep down its for the best but its so hard not having any real reasons and after thinking everything was ok. I know our future would have been tough but I was prepared for that. He has carried on with his life moved back to his parents and left me to pick up the pieces. Im so worried about bumping into him in case he left me for someone else which he denies. Its all be very sudden and very strange but i just want to be able to forget him and get on with my life with me any my children. They have been great but dont like seeing mummy so sad. I suffer occasionally from depression and really dont want to end up in that bad place.

OP posts:
lou33 · 22/09/2011 11:54

I don't really have any suggestions but i feel for you v much. My dp left 5 weeks ago without warning and i am still struggling to deal with it, and like you feel the same when i wake up. It's hard to see past the next half hour sometimes, but babysteps is the only way i think, allow yourself some slack.

Hope you feel better soon.

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