Jealousy - should I be over this by now?

[Angiel]

This is a bit trivial really but I need to make a decision soon so I hope you can bear with me.

My dp and I have been together for about 11 years and during that time, have had a couple of breaks. During these breaks he has had 2 other relationships. I know this shouldn't bother me but the women he had the relationships with, are a bit close to home. One is my bil's sister and the other is my best friend's sil.

At the time when I eventually found out about them, I was upset. Not so much that he had been with someone else, more that it was someone I was likely to bump into.

As time has gone by, these relationships don't really worry me anymore and we do joke about them ocassionally, but I do prefer not to have to see them. This hasn't been a problem at all and we just don't meet up.

In the last couple of days though, my children have been invited to party's at which the ex girlfriends will be present. I spoke to dh about it and said I thought I could handle it and would probably be ok. He thinks I shouldn't go as it is bound to cause grief.

I know that being jealous is silly and irrational but I much prefer avoiding the ex girlfriends. Should I just bite the bullet and take the kids to the parties and hope for the best?

Any advice greatfully received. TIA.

[iota]

Angiel - I saw from another thread that you are feeling a bit down in the dumps at the moment - if you don't feel resilient enough to face these other women, don't put youself though it. You have lots of other things to deal with.

If you do feel mentally strong and want to get it over with, then do, but only you can now what's right for you at this time.

best wishes

[dadslib]

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[Jemma7]

Oh, that would make me feel much worse Dadslib!

If you can manage it Angiel i would definitely go - surely if the other women are going to be there then your BIL and Best friend will be there ir would they not?

[doormat]

Dadslib that would make me feel worse too but I agree with your second point that Angiel has nothing to be jealous of as he went back to her not them.

Angiel I think iota is right you have had alot of worries lately and if you dont feel strong enough this will only make you feel more down.

Dont go until you are strong enough to cope.
hugs
xxx

[Blu]

Angiel, I would either go with your pride high and your spirit a-fizz for the party...or politely double book yourselves and none of you go. Either is OK, and I wonder whether the other women are themselves feeling all embarrassed? Hah! Imagine them feeling all jealous of YOU.

[Angiel]

I did jokingly suggest that dp takes the children on his own and he didn't look impressed. Kids parties are not his thing at the best of times and there is no way he would take them on his own.

I think I'm worried that I'll look like the slightly overweight, blobby sahm with 3 kids running round like nutters and they will look all sophisticated and attractive.

Actually one of them has 2 children, she is skinny as a rake, but far from sophisticated. I can think of a few words for her, but that isn't one of them. God I sound like a cow.

[Blu]

Moo-ing is the best form of defense, sometimes, Angiel, go for it!

[Neetsmassi]

I feel for you Angiel - my dh ran into his ex girlfriend (very serious - first love, lived together etc) at the birthday party of one of our dd's friends. She is the friend of the mother - who is now a good friend of mine (hope this makes sense) I'm afraid I've been very childish about it and will not go to anything that the ex will be at. Don't see why I should put myself through it - she is part of the past and I don't want her being any part of our present - which she would be if we saw her on social occasions. Only my opinion - you should do what makes you happy.

[Twinkie]

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