im worried about what the postman will bring

[7777777]

i posted on here last friday about my ex being verbally abusive to me infront of 13th month old. hed been having access for just 7 weeks as he went to court to get parental responsibility (id never said he couldnt have access)but while the courts were taking so long and it was very bitter he didnt visit, i definitely couldnt have had him in my home.i phoned his mother and told her if he wanted to see baby could she visit with him and explained why, the fact being that i hate the bloody man at the moment. after the weekend and thinking about it i thought sod it im not having him coming round a week before xmas and there being an atmosphere (i have an 11year old also, no his)and ruining xmas. last xmas i was too soft and allowed him round xmas day which culminated in him being a controlling arse and my elder son crying allday because of the agro.anway, sorry im waffling, he emailed monday to ask when he could visit. no apology or anything, he obviously thinks its totally acceptable to scream abuse at me over the babies head!i replied that he should go back to his solicitor and find out about contact centres. yesterday he emailed to say fine and what arrangement would happen in the meantime. i said nothing cause of his outburst. im now worried about what the post will bring ie:shitty solicitor letter. his dad is the same and has told him that he himself (the dad)should be allowed to have babe overnight!over my dead body.help please.x

He does sound a bit of a twat, he really does. But does that stop him from being ok with the baby? I know what you mean abt the gf, I was far happier when my ex found a gf. She was older and had kids and grandkids, and I trusted her. But at the end of the day I had to accept that my ex wasn't good witht he kids, but he wasn't goin to bring any harm to them and they did actually like going there. It used to drive me nuts when he would give ds juice and send him back with diarrhoea, or ruin his clothes, keep them up waay too late, or put him in cheap nappies so he got rashes. In the end you find ways around it. I ended up puttign them in the same cheapish outfits every weekend for visits to his, he changed them if he wated to with clothes he'd bought. I insisted he had decent nappies, picked them up from his so I could be sure everythign was returned. I didn't bother sending dummies as they never came back. At the end of the day it never did the kids any lasting harm, and they soon get used to different routines. And I looked forward to the break, I had some lovely weekends away on his access weekends. It could work for you, eg, if your ds has allergies - send all his meals with him.