Looking at other women...

[ArtyFartyPants]

I was having a discussion with a few mates about our DP's looking at other women and how if affects them. My view is that they are MALE they're going to look you won't be able to stop them. I know my DP admires other women when he's out but he's not disrespectful to do it whilst he's out with me. A couple of my friends say their DP's do and they've had full blown arguements over it! One even slapped her DP and stormed off! Same one even hides magazines from him so he can't perv at the women in there....
How do you ladies view your DP/DH 'perving' at other women?

I'm single (again yawn), but when in a relationship, it doesn't bother me if my partner looks at other women, I find both men and women attractive and will look at them if I so wish, means I just want to look and seethe with envy.

I must admit, it's a little off when I see a man staring or perving at women whilst walking down the street with their partner, but that's between them I guess.

We often point out people to each other; 'She's nice' or 'Damn! Look at the arms on him', honestly can't see the problem with admiring someone who looks good, as long as your OH is comfortable with it.

OP, your mate sounds like an abuser. Sorry to be blunt but if a woman came on here saying 'my DH slapped me because I looked at another man, and he hides magazines so I can't look at models' everyone would be telling her to leave him as he sounds jealous & possessive.

Errr!! my hubby and was out at the weekend and we ended up in a club! Know as we went into the club my hubby was taking his jacket of and putting it into the coat room,I turned and noticed he was stairing at a woman I asked him did he get a good look in a jokey way but he'd said that he was sure he knew her so that was fine but later on he'd said that his friend did know her and that was that, but I then was told he will be back in a min and when I turned he was standing about ten steps away from me with a clear view of him standing on the steps going towards the dance floor with his drink and staring deliberately down at her until he noticed me then came back over! I'm a little pissed at this but what do I say when he says I thought I knew her? When really I knew he was checking her rack out,which he will not admit!

DW and I habitually discuss in lurid detail who we would like to shag, whether it's some celebrity or someone we see while we're out. We know what each other likes so we both also help each other out by spotting likely candidates and pointing them out.

It's only about sex, and as sex isn't the essence of our relationship there's no reason why it would be a problem.

I saw a young man topless with the most beautiful chest/abs and pierced nipple walking down the street.

I have never seen better in film or a magazine.

Of course I flaming noticed and thought pwhoar! What is wrong with that?

I'm sure my partner fancies people from time to time. I certainly fancy people from time to time.

I will probably get shot down by the wierdo brigade, but just making a comment , it's a fact that humans with vaginas spend millions on purchasing aids to alter the human figure ie: uplift bra's corsets ,spanxs ,Lycra all to make you look better ,(who for?) is it to look better than the next woman or to be more attractive to men. They do a great job making your curves more curvy , something that men are programmed from birth to respond to in looking for mate to carry on the human race, child bearing wider hips are a massive turn on to me ,and to not notice i would be telling a lie. But I see no harm in a glance , Not an OGLE, (dangerous ground now) Is it more of a jealousy thing that younger girls can get away with showing more bare skin,
If you are in a good solid relationship you would not give it a second thought.

flatbelly, and what is the POINT? you say men noticed because they aer looking to reproduce - but they are not going to reproduce with all these passing women, like an animal in season would! If they already have a partner of course. so why either frustrate yourself, and upset your partner in the process who might feel like she's not enough? Some people can be monogamous, some can't, but then those act on it - at least they are looking with some results. I really just don't get it. And you are making emphasis on reproduction so you actually fancy them - it's different from looking calmly, like at a beautiful sculpture, as I think women do at beautiful young men (again if she's fulfilled by her partner, not single).

I'm usually checking out the women before DH. Lol. And I know who is going to look at before he does. I'm not bothered at all. They are just looking...
I like looking too lol

Autumnflower I agree with what you are saying ,I just phrased my input wrong , all I meant to say was that instinct is a thing we are born with but l did not mean to infer that males wanted to make out with the ladies that turned their heads. I can only speak for myself and say I love art & sculpture portraying the female form & male .

I see no harm in a glance, not an OGLE

Well, yes, I think we all agree with that. I double-check beautiful women (or well-dressed, lovely haircut, delightful child, etc, etc) and men. It's got sod all to do with jealousy or lust; it's the same as double-checking a particularly nice thing in a shop window or a car. I fleetingly think, "It would be nice to have [whatever]" and that's it. I imagine normal male observation of pretty women is the same.

But X#2 used to OGLE. He would even turn round for a longer look. It was very unsettling, and also rude to the other woman. X#1 was like Shoni's H sometimes, he'd seem drawn by an invisible traction beam. They were both arseholes. I hate when men do this to me, too, especially if they're in a couple.

AFP, your slapping, magazine-hiding friend is a loon.

I was admiring Beyonce's bottom the other day -doesn't mean I want to shag her, I just think she has an amazing figure and can't take my eyes off her.

Why should I get jealous if my husband does the same?

I love the fact that the man I'm with looks at other women. There is something to be said about enjoying someone else's appreciation of another person.

OK, to turn the question round a bit - how do people commenting here feel about men 'looking' at them?

What garlic said.
My ex, on the odd occasion we walked down the road together, would either hang back or walk ahead if a woman was coming the other way. He'd then lock eyes with them or if he'd hung back, also do a full turn to look again. I couldn't mention it either as he would just get nasty, but it used to piss me right off..

Good question toadinthehole... don't like it one bit if they have a partner with them.

As for just looking...yup I can appreciate a fit bloke .... haven't seen any for ages though lol..only on telly

There's a difference between an admiring look and staring with your tongue out, or saying things to your partner like 'Pwhoar, if you would only make an effort I could fancy you more.'
Mind you if the choice was between an unsubtly lecherous partner and a madly jealous one I'd pick the lechy one any day. Jealous people are pathetic and need either merciless teasing till they grow out of it, or immediate dumping.

Oh and said ex always accused me of cheating, flirting, everything! Often used it as an excuse for being really horrible to me.

So now.. zero tolerance on excessively lechy OR madly jealous