please remind me what a knob he is and how lucky i am to be out

[craftyknickers]

I left my ex a month ago because of abuse (emotional and violent)

The last straw was he punched me in the face and left me with a huge black eye.

I have now found out he has moved on already. I dont want him back, i hate him. But i feel so stupid and so angry that he is already moving on to the next one like i didnt exist.

Im sat here crying feeling so gutted but I dont want to cry about him, i dont want to feel anything about it.

I wish i had never met him!

I just need reminding that he is a cock! Stop me crying about him please.

Sorry its ranty i just needed to talk

Hey Crafty, been where you are (3 times with the same knobend) and have finally seen the light.

He will always be the sad, boozing commitmentphobe that will flit from woman to woman never finding what he is looking for.

It hurts when there is a sudden void in your life, but that void leaves room down the line for someone that will make you so much happier.

Cry when you need to and get it out, but know that when the tears dry and you are back on track, you will thank your lucky stars you are out of all the drama and abuse.

You'll get there :)

Good god Crafty you are a baby compared to some of us MN's.

Young enough to start again, make a good life for yourself and forget this weasel of a man.

Come join us on the Emotional Abuse support thread, you'll be welcome.
Well done for getting rid, I know it hurts but youre already moving forward just by posting here.
Oh and he's a fucking knob and you're lucky to be shot of him

If he is saying that you have injured his back, then he must have an injury that back it up

Dont blame yourself Crafty , your not stupid or naive , these people are master manipulaters and if your not one yourself , its hard to get your head round why someone would tell you that youve said or done stuff you havent done or deliberateley upset you .

Ill admit to beating the shit out of mine on one occasion and i understand thats not unusual . They will provoke and provoke and intimidate until finally you snap , now your the bad guy and there the victim . They really are textbook . Have you read the books that are often recommended on here about these fuckers ? I bought every single one . There quite an eye opener , and you really do realise that these types are all the same when you see it written in black and white.

Theyre usually tight with money , get involved really quickly / dont like your freinds / always the victim / mither for sex , drive badly / lazy greedy bastards / sulkers / sleep all day / into porn excessiveley / too open about toilet issues / can cry and whinge like a child to make you feel guilty .

Honestly , youll be able to read a description of this old fart in any of those books .

Is he pestering you with texts crafty ?

I would ignore and not engage if you can manage it . Next thing hell be talking about how you could do this to him after everything hes done , he might as well kill himself whinge whinge whinge .

Standby for a range of ridiculous allegations and attempts to engage you .

yesterdays i am reading Lundy's book at the moment. It was a very moment when i started reading it. I didnt even realise he had sexually abused me until i read one part of it, i cried for hours after that. I just thought it was me being frigid and uptight. I never once thought he was abusing me. (I refuse to use the 4 letter R word because i will be sick if i think he did that to me)

He is every single one of the things you put in your post.

He hid it so well and because I am so much younger than him his efforts to make me feel wrong all the time worked. Afterall who is likeley to be right a 23 yr old or a 39 yr old with all that life experience. He felt i should be in awe of him. Lundy's expression 'he is the teacher' fit him like a book. He made me feel very stupid when in fact i am intelligent. he made me dout all my views and opinions.

Am really sorry to hear about that sort of abuse Crafty, its often the case . I spent months seeing a counseller about that , and i did recover , as will you .

Keep reading and posting , your not on your own .

yesterdays i am going to have to talk to my doc about that subject. Since reading the book and realising that actually no its not right to be forced into something i dont want to do and that DOESNT make me boring or frigid it has really bothered me.
I always imagined victims of that abuse to be abused by a stranger not by your own partner so i think thats why i didnt accept what it was.

I have PM'd you yesterdays

Have replied Crafty .

Its right you are bothered by this , it shouldnt have happened , ever . Unfortunateley i bought into the myth and unless someone was accosted by a stranger and physically hurt , it couldnt be so . Shocking really when you think that the law was only changed relativeley recently so that husbands COULDNT do this . Yet still i refused to see , until it stopped being insidious and became outright aggressive .

I was told that this sort of thing , occuring in your own home , where you should be safe , with someone whos meant to love you , can be even more taumatizing for exactly those reasons . We dont want to see so we dont , i am often amazed that i managed to function normally , i think some part of me opted out so i didnt have to deal with it . Some part of me was missing .

When that absent part of me finally came back i was consumed with rage and a greif i have never felt before , i felt totally alone , my freinds just didnt get it and made comparisons to their husbands mithering them for sex . Others were uncomfortable and tried to minimize it as it was a bit too close to home for them .

I often felt alone , but i wasnt . There was literally an army of people who were ready to help me once i spoke out , from Wa , gp , counsellers , and all the people on here who had never met me but took the trouble to post and support me . Its the same for you , and im glad your posting , and that youve got that book , and your rid of him .