21st Century Relationships

[kittyone]

Hi,

Am new to this 'blogging' thing so i hope am doing this right???

The reason behind my blogging is due to bottling up my feelings for so long and i needed to get it out in the air! I am a new mum of one, it has been a wonderful experience so far and my daughter means the world to me! my husband and i got married over 2 years ago after first meeting four years ago. I love being with my husband and he loves being with me but i find it hard to have a relationship like we do when so many of our married friends relationships are so different i.e they have lads and girls holidays each year and dont spend time as a family. Iam constantly being told my life is boring and that we will regret the way our relationship is? A current issue between our friends and us is Stag and hen parties . We want to be with our baby and have a family holidays and hopefully have more children we have had our time partying and have been on our fair share of important hen and stag do's aswell as partying around at university. Whatever happened to good old fashioned relationships where life wasnt so much about partying and image all the time and more about families and growing up gracefully? i hope this makes sense

p.s i'm 24 x

I spent the majority of my married life..(7 years, been seperated for 3 years) comparing our marriage to that of friends.. I concluded that we did'nt go out together or apart enough, we did'nt have fun, we had nothing in common, we did'nt have enough sex, we were too sensible because he could'nt take his drink so we never got totally blotto together! he controled everything I bought & did do I felt like I never made any decisions..etc... but this was compared to a couple who it turns out had drink & drug problems & were always out because they were both cheating. Another couple who's husband would be a miserable git if she did'nt give him sex thats why they had it so much! And another couple where the wife was like a army major & treated her husband like their 3rd child thats why she got to make all the family decisions!! .. Basically looking back I think I talked myself into us having the worst marriage on earth because I concentrated too much on other peoples lives & what they thought of us, yes we had our problems but nothing that we could'nt have worked on looking back I wish we had!! We were ok ish..so if your happy & your partner is happy then forget other people & live your own lives how you want!!! x

If your friends are critical of your lifestyle choices, it's time to find new ones.

The only thing that matters is whether you and your husband are happy, you shouldn't seek validation from others - your life sounds lovely and not at all boring, spending all your time together while you have young children is the way it should be. I don't understand why people want to live like they are single when they marry and have a family.

Seperate holidays, stag and hen do's etc. they are my idea of hell now and they were 20+ years ago when I was your age.

Dude, you can't say 'whatever happened to...' when you're 24. You've got a baby, of course you want to stay in with your baby, and if your friends don't realise that they are a bit daft. But it really isn't some huge social paradigm type issue all of a sudden because it's happened to you. Sorry. Though I guess if you get the nostalgic angst tone right, you might get a Daily Fail column one day?