I've spent most of my 30s with someone and the relationship ended after I got pregnant and had a baby. He still lives here though (complicated) but will leave.
I didn't want this to be my baby's role model for how relationships should be.
He is emotionally detached and didn't get involved with the pregnancy (wouldn't touch the bump, didn't talk with any enthusiasm about the baby.) It was a planned pg btw. A couple of minor things during the pg made me realise that I wasn't his no.1 priority, or at least, while other people were interested / concerned about pg/baby-related things, he wasn't. (It hadn't previously been an issue as I'm very independent/self-sufficient/ didn't expect much from him / had learned to be as he was emotionally absent really.) I sometimes wonder if he has Aspergers. he has no empathy, has no friends (or interest in having any) and finds emotional stuff awkward. He took a long time to say "I love you". He would avoid emotional conversations. If we argued (I argued), he'd ignore me and then a few days later say he had felt it best to not talk because I was upset and he was letting me have time to calm down(?!), although he knows, and I've said many times, that being ignored is the worst thing for me when I'm upset.
Where's this going?
Why did I get into this or let it go on so long? My mum has narc traits. I've always liked "a challenge" and have had no interest in guys who were too available. Is that it? Should I be delving into my psyche? I don't want another relationship.
How do I protect my baby from an emotionally absent parent? P's family have brought him up with no cuddles, no "I love you" from what he says (he denies remembering anything about his past if I ask about stuff maybe just he liked / enjoyed doing etc) He doesn't like sharing though, it could be just that.