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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I want but he doesn't

34 replies

CrackerFactory · 11/09/2011 18:11

How do you reconcile the issue of another baby when I really want another dc but dh doesn't. Its not something you can compromise on so how can it be reconciled?

OP posts:

Bootcamp · 11/09/2011 23:29

Or perhaps as others have said keep talking perhaps things will change?

EricNorthmansMistress · 12/09/2011 08:01

How many do you have?

CactusRash · 12/09/2011 09:51

CrackerFactory have you told him that by saying 'No' he is forcing you into not having a child?

I know I had to explain to my H that for me not getting pg meant I was grieving for a child that I couldnt have. It was a very foreign idea to him. For him there was no child, never was so no need to grieve for it iyswim?

As for everybodyelse being happy, think again. I have yet to meet someone who doesn't have some problems of some sorts. It might not the same issue than you (having another one) but I can promise you that they do.

Original poster

CrackerFactory · 20/09/2011 21:06

A large part of this problem is the way I have been dismissed every time I bring the subject up. I get brushed off like I am asking for an expensive watch we can't afford and basically its not worth anyones' time to consider the subject. Its just a no and no empathy or feeling for the sense of utter loss I feel, no discussion, conversation. And I suspect he keeps brushing me off till it is no longer an issue. There is not a lot of time before this becomes a biological impossibility. I feel I deserve more sensitivity and respect than this and that makes me completely and utterly resent him.

OP posts:

Sofiaintherye · 20/09/2011 21:43

This is very personal and you might think that my advise is nonsense. Anyway here it is. I would bring up the subject at night when you both are relaxed over a bottle of wine. After a couple of glasses I would tell him how fit and strong you see him and how proud you feel for having such a man. Next glass and before he gets drunk I would raise the issue.
But above all I think you should feel very lucky now whatever the outcome, you've already got a family.

confidence · 21/09/2011 22:17

So how many children do you have?

cerealqueen · 21/09/2011 22:25

How many children do you have?

cerealqueen · 21/09/2011 22:25

sorry, just saw that has been asked already!

Helltotheno · 21/09/2011 22:31

OP you never told us how many you already have... or did you?

I think you should drop it. Men don't react well to being nagged over something all the time. If you make like you're not that bothered any more, he might come round.

If you already have a few kids, I can understand where he's coming from. You need to distinguish between being broody for a baby and the whole lifelong responsibility of bringing another human into the world on top of those you already have.

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